So, I'm 31 now. I rang the day in with some incredible fun times, both with my folks and friends at a bar. There was a cake shaped like a Tardis, because I have talented friends. There were lots and lots of incredible gifts - mix tapes, geeky coasters, a beautiful hair ornament, a necklace, wine, my very own shiny blue-ray copy of The Social Network
and other fabulous items to name a few. And the party was pretty amazing. Lots of people crammed into my favorite space in Sycamore. People came far distances just to celebrate with me. That's a really great feeling.
I know I haven't been posting here a lot. Frankly, I haven't really been posting much anywhere. It's one of those things where you have a lot on your mind but you don't quite know how to put it all down into words. But to summup just a bit:
1. I wonder how good is good enough, especially when it comes to work. I also worry that just because my path isn't the same path as others, I'm doing something *wrong*, and I'm going to be *stuck* in the wrong place because I won't move soon enough and I'll be too old to go elsewhere. *sigh* And I don't even know if that's what I want, either.
2. Why in hell everything related to the wedding industry has to cost so damned much. And Wedding Industrial Complex's continued insistence that THIS WILL BE YOUR MOST SPECIALIST IMPORTANT DAY EVER kind of makes me want to flip them off and not give them a penny. But on the other side, I resent that some of it is just
out of my reach. AND, I hate the DIY Brides who crow about how they wove their own fabric and threw all of the crockery on their very own pottery wheel, and grew their own flowers and all of that shit. Some people are okay with a potluck wedding, but for me, those are too many damn variables to be okay. I also wonder what constitutes "worth it."
3. I feel like I should have even more figured out by now. Granted, I have a few ducks lined up neatly but still, adults seemed smarter, more mature, and just more adult
about things when I was younger. My parents insist that this was all a clever ruse, and were grateful that I bought it, because apparently the big secret of being an adult is that no one knows what in hell they're doing, they basically take a shot and hope for the best. I don't know why, but that's kind of disappointing. :/
4. So many people have started migrating over to facebook, I'm thinking of using an old blogspot blog I started and abandoned as an "echo" blog. What I was imagining was having a topic to write about each week (start slow, maybe it'll get bigger), and write an essay of some sort that I will post here, in my cozy LJ home. However, since there are lots of folks I'm fine with having my twitter and fb that I don't want tromping back here for a variety of reasons, I could send them to the same content over yonder. That way, I'm still blogging, both blogs get used, I feel like I'm doing something somewhat
creative, and yet I still maintain some semblance of order and privacy here in LJ-land. I'm going to think on this while I put some topics together. I don't know if it's low self-esteem or lack of practice, but lately I feel like everything I write sounds like crap. Perhaps both, IDEK.
5. My birthday really threw me for a loop this year - there were major and minor disasters, both worldwide and locally, and someone I know gave birth. And they gave birth at practically the exact same time my mom had me, and the kid was nearly the same weight. I don't know why, but that freaked me out some. Mostly in a "I'm not young anymore, where the hell is all of this crap going" sort of way. And people around me are starting to have kids that are planned for, which is also a mindblower.
6. Stupid ankle is two steps forward, one step back. Every time I think I'm out, it acts up again. Still, PT guy is optimistic. I can only hope he's right.
I don't know, LJ. I hate coming here and being all ::raincloud::, especially on a vacation day, but I don't feel up to being Little Miss Sunshine lately. I need a little break. Not that I'm all doom and gloom, though. I think partly cloudy is a good description. I'm just starting to panic that I have to FIGURE IT ALL OUT soon, because my time to do something OMG AMAZING (like write a book, or a screenplay or whatever) is running out rapidly. And what's more, I also wonder what's the point of doing any of it, because it may never go anywhere, no matter how much effort I put in. So yeah. I don't know if this is I need springtime badly blues or stuck inside too long with a bum ankle blues or what, but these are what's been rattling around my head. Too many obligations, too many to-dos, not enough to balance it out, I guess.
So that's basically where my head is at. And since I can't bear to go without leaving you all with some positives:
7. I need new bras, I'm going to take care of that today, I think. Rah rah short term goals.
8. FRANKENSTEIN tomorrow, which I will be seeing with airspaniel
and other LJ luminaries I have yet to meet. Basically, director Danny Boyle (of Trainspotting
, Slumdog Millionaire
and that movie with James Franco I can't watch because I'm a total claustrophobic fame), Johnny Lee Miller (from Hackers
) and the incomparable Benedict Cumberbatch (who is from Sherlock
on the BBC. If you have not seen Sherlock
, correct this immediately. As much as I love RDJ, this version kicks his in the junk over and over.) They are all doing Frankenstein
in London as a two-man show, in rep. We're going to see Ben play the Creature, which we're all pretty excited about. I know I am.
9. Speaking of airspaniel
, we're also going to see The Normal Heart
on Broadway next month. Jim Parsons and Lee Pace live on stage? I'd buy that for a dollar! (Or $26.50, as the case may be.) Plans are also in the works to see the Shirelles musical with Meg, so I hope that doesn't suck. I also wanted to see Priscilla
, but after watching the movie for the 9 millionth time last night ("How many times do I have to tell you GREEN is NOT your color?!") I'm not sure if it would be anything except a letdown. Am also curious about Catch Me if You Can
, which I am less attached to and have heard very positive things about the score. Springtime for Spiderman
and its ensuing off-stage disasters continue to provide schadenfreudistic glee.
10. And because life always needs more Timothy Olyphant, I've started watching Deadwood
. Only one ep in so far, but I'm intrigued. I just wish there were more episodes per disc, since I'm Netflixing.