offbalance: (mrs. peel by antheia)
offbalance ([personal profile] offbalance) wrote2010-11-14 04:37 pm
Entry tags:

I'm tired of the excuses everybody uses

Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm not generally the type who enjoys starting trouble. But I will open my mouth if I feel it necessary. Today was one of those times.

I was walking home from a lovely brunch excursion with [livejournal.com profile] airspaniel when I noticed a couple hugging against a car at the corner of my street. Usually I ignore that kind of thing, but I heard the girl pleading and crying for him to stop and let her go. I looked, and her face was wet with tears. She was punching him, begging him to let her go, and he kept trying to kiss her. She kept punching and crying. At one point, he grabbed her up and was swinging her around like a sack of laundry, while she screamed and pleaded for him to let go and stop.

And I couldn't keep walking. I stopped, turned, and asked her if she was all right. If she needed me to call someone. Loudly, too.

At just that moment, a completely different guy walking buy started yelling at me that "This is the hood. Mind your business!" Several times. Like he was more upset that I dared to intervene on the girl's behalf than the fact that this guy was possibly hurting this girl. If that wasn't disgusting enough, the guy who had been torturing the poor girl on the corner started calling me a fucking bitch, and also that I should mind my business. I decided I had no other choice but to beat a hasty retreat, as I don't have Buffy's strength or Veronica Mars' taser. What I wanted to say was that I'd been living in Brooklyn longer than any of these teenagers had been alive and a girl in trouble is , in fact, my business, but I didn't. I didn't believe for one second my point would get across.

I was disgusted all the way back to my apartment. I don't regret speaking up for one second, and I only wish I could do more. How am I supposed to ignore something like that? Why should I turn a blind eye? How is that the way to do things? There were two older women down the block who'd been watching this girl and continued just standing there, watching. I don't understand how "staying out of it" is ever okay. I'm not suggesting some kind of police state where everyone informs on their neighbors for every wrong, but what I am suggesting is the type of world where pain does not go without notice, and problems are not ignored. I do everything I can to not turn a blind eye, without causing myself injury, of course. But I thoroughly reject a culture of "not your business" or "not your problem." It's why I regular write letters to all levels of the government for issues I deem important, and I'm not going to ignore a problem I see right before me. Sorry, asshole, but this is my neighborhood too, and this is absolutely my business.
blue_ant: (Default)

[personal profile] blue_ant 2010-11-14 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Could you have called the police?

[identity profile] offbalance.livejournal.com 2010-11-14 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Possibly. I honestly didn't think of that at the time.
blue_ant: (Default)

[personal profile] blue_ant 2010-11-14 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course, they could've been gone by the time you called or something else. I don't know that I'd have thought to call them, either.

You did the right thing and those boys, ugh. I'm glad you at least attempted to stand up for her.

[identity profile] offbalance.livejournal.com 2010-11-14 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Exactly.

And thanks. Your question just now made me doubt myself a little, honestly. Like I could have done more. But I guess I couldn't force my help on anyone. I just couldn't completely ignore things.
blue_ant: (Default)

[personal profile] blue_ant 2010-11-14 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, don't doubt yourself. I mean, who's to say the police would've been able to help or something.

You did what most of us (I know, I'm generalizing here) probably wouldn't have had the guts to do. And you never know, maybe that gave her the confidence to run away after you'd gone.

[identity profile] alexandriabrown.livejournal.com 2010-11-14 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
You were absolutely right to say something, if for no other reason than that the guy now was focusing on calling you a bitch so that poor girl could have the attention taken away from her.

I wish more people spoke up.

[identity profile] offbalance.livejournal.com 2010-11-15 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I hope so. If he just took his hands off of her for a minute, maybe she could have gotten away.

Me too.

[identity profile] firynze.livejournal.com 2010-11-15 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
My god, that's horrific - both what the first guy was doing to that poor girl, and what the second guy said. And the two women just watching! WHAT were they thinking?!

I'm glad you got out of there without any trouble, and I pray that girl is okay.

*hugs*

Thank you for at least interjecting. It may have given her enough time and leeway to get away.

[identity profile] offbalance.livejournal.com 2010-11-15 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)
They were probably thinking what the second guy said. Or blaming her for whatever was happening - that happens a lot.

I hope she's okay, too. That was some bullshit.

[identity profile] angelicillusion.livejournal.com 2010-11-15 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
You tried to help someone that looked as if they were in trouble. That's never, ever wrong. I'm always of the philosophy "Do onto others as you'd have done onto you." However, given the fact that you were by yourself and knowing "the neighborhood" I'd have been hesitant to say something because I wouldn't exactly know the reactions of the individuals involved. My instinct would have been the 911 route but again you don't know if they'd have gotten there in time. Something like that is always your own personal judgment call. I mean they even have a show centering around something like this "What would you do?" with actors playing out various ethical dilemmas in the public eye. Some people see the situation and do nothing - keep walking. Some see & sit there and watch to see what's going to happen. If there are a group of people rather than being alone those people may add their voice. A group is always somehow stronger than one voice because they're not alone and don't fear reappraisal. Others, those few brave individuals, speak out against the wrongs being committed. They stand up and shout and try to help. Whatever way you respond, as long as you can walk away later and know deep in your heart that you did the right thing ... then screw what other people say. Just because an asshole doesn't want to get involved, regardless of what "hood" it is, does not mean that it's the right way.

[identity profile] offbalance.livejournal.com 2010-11-15 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Seriously.

Oh, dear god, you're gonna get me started.

[identity profile] bronxelf-ag001.livejournal.com 2010-11-15 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
Hood?

HOOD

BITCH PLEASE. You lived in Brooklyn LONG before it came the fucking disneyland full of hipsters and trust fund kids that it is now. You remember when Brooklyn was truly dangerous. Do we NEED relive Kitty Genovese(yeah yeah I know it was Queens, but the principle still applies)? Oh HELL no.

These little kids wanna talk about HOOD, they need to talk to people who grew up before NYC became a sugar frosted fucking wonderland.

Jebus on fucking toast points.

Of course you did the right thing.

Re: Oh, dear god, you're gonna get me started.

[identity profile] offbalance.livejournal.com 2010-11-15 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
These little kids wanna talk about HOOD, they need to talk to people who grew up before NYC became a sugar frosted fucking wonderland

Exactly. I grew up about a mile from where I was standing. I know full well how hard the residents of my neighborhood (the real ones, not the trust fundies) to get the neighborhood back from how it was in the bad old days. And I'm just supposed to ignore this? Like I don't know what's going on? I know bad news when I see it. Neighbors should look out for one another - not ignore wrongdoing.

UGH. I could rant for days, but I think you know exactly what I'm getting at.

[identity profile] katiebea.livejournal.com 2010-11-15 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
What you did? File under absolutely the right thing to do. I am proud to know you and to be your friend.

[identity profile] offbalance.livejournal.com 2010-11-15 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks, sweetie. :) I'm glad we're friends. :D

[identity profile] video-jukebox.livejournal.com 2010-11-15 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I hate that "stop snitching" garbage. Yes, you did the right thing. "Hood," my ass.