offbalance: (amalthea by antheia)
Nearly titled this entry "Girls Just wanna have lunch," as every time I try to consume food in the office, suddenly everyone everywhere (be it near or far) MUST TALK TO ME IMMEDIATELY.   I think they forget sometimes that I'm an actual human with biological needs, and not some magical being who grants wishes.

Trying to decide if I want to see <i>Moana</i> or <i>Arrival</i> more if [ profile] j_bkl and I head to the movies on Friday.  I guess it will be dependent on mood and where we are when we head to see it.


There has been entirely too much death in 2016 to begin with, but the last week alone has been kick after kick.  People close to me have lost loved ones very suddenly in the last few days.  And of course, I lost a bona-fide icon yesterday.

I never got to meet Carrie Fisher in person.  My wish was that she'd hear me say something really snarky, turn to  me and say something  to the effect of, "Oh, you're MEAN. Let's be friends!"  There was so much to admire about her.

First, there was Leia.  Wee, tiny me was exposed to Star Wars and saw this incredibly beautiful woman who would beat the everliving crap out of you if you were in her way, sass you if you underestimated her, and do whatever she needed to do to save you if she loved you and you loved her.  My mother carefully curated much of the tv/film I was exposed to without seeming to - and I usually found myself in front of strong (and occasionally smart-mouthed) depictions of women, like Leia, Uhura, Wonder Woman, Laverne & Shirley, Murphy Brown - the list goes on.  But Leia forever warped my vision of what a princess was.  Yes, she could be a pretty girl in a pretty dress, but she was also going to be the one with a blaster who was going to take charge and save the day if needed be.  She didn't need anyone to rescue her, thanks.  In fact, if you were lucky, she'd rescue you.  That left a dent.

Then, as I got older, I started seeing Carrie pop up in other favorite films, like <i>When Harry Met Sally</i> and <i>Drop Dead Fred</i> and countless others.  Then, I found out she was an author.  (Yes, I know I need to read Postcards from the Edge.  I own it.  I keep picking it up and meaning to). I adored <i>Wishful Drinking</i>.  Word of her prowess as a script doctor also filtered back to me.  But it wasn't just her accomplishments I came to admire - it was the way she refused to be ashamed of her failings.  Or even think of them as such.  She'd probably shrug and say it's all part of the package.  Addiction? Mental illness? Whatever, buddy - you must be this tall to ride.  She would never, ever be ashamed.  And that's what I admired the MOST about her.  She seemed to go through life without any embarrassment about who she was.

She died bathed in moonlight, strangled by her own bra - but we were the ones left heartbroken.

This fucking year, man.  I swear.  
offbalance: (UB Divas)
I'm baaaaaaaack.

So, on that *other* social media site, there is a secret group that is trying to get the band back together (as it were) here on LJ. So far, it's been a glorious class reunion. I never lost touch with [ profile] fragbert, thankfully, but getting back in touch with [ profile] first_lobster and [ profile] trappedinabay has been marvelous. There's also a new community, [ profile] 2017revival that seems dead set serious about making this a *thing* again and I'm all for it. Will be posting over there shortly too, just figured I'd go through the trouble of posting here first so anyone wanting to meander to my page would have something fresh to read.

Christmas was lovely - presents included copies of the Springsteen memoir, Hamiltome, the Hamilton Mixtape, the new Leonard Cohen and Lady Gaga albums, my own copy of Metropolitan on dvd, and TICKETS TO SEE BETTE MIDLER IN HELLO DOLLY. I may be just a tad tiny bit excited about that last one. [ profile] quasisonic magically got me this Ogio tote bag I was in love with but didn't manage to buy for myself also, and I may have shattered a few windows when I got to unwrap that one. She also got me the blu-ray set of That's Entertainment! I-III, which my dorky ass is SO excited about diving into.


I just got back from seeing La La Land, and boy, what a let down. The most disappointing thing of all is that there may have been a good movie under there somewhere if they had spent a little more time making the script make sense, hiring actors who could sing and dance, and perhaps writing a few more songs. Alas, this was not the finished product I plunked down $16.50 to see.

Very minor spoilers ahoy... )


Jun. 18th, 2016 12:49 pm
offbalance: (Default)
So, I finally watched Roadies. I get why my friend who works on stage crews was angry. There are two levels of supreme badness in my mind - so bad I was angry, and so bad that I was impressed. So bad that I was angry, well, that just shows me how much opportunity was missed on a potentially good concept. But this was the latter - the premise was likely a dog from the start (although I think would make a great documentary if you spoke to actual road crews about their experiences and day-to-day), and things just went downhill from there. Cameron Crowe’s “women problem” is writ large here - you have three female characters, all that fall into the archetype of Mother Figure (Carla Gugino, who still manages to be good in this somehow), Maniac (the stalker girl, who was Penny Lane tipped into psychotic parody), and the Moron (the Wide Eyed Manic Pixie Blonde Dreamgirl [WEMPBD] we’re supposed to align ourselves and root for). Every next turn of the story had no interest in credulity - and when it attempted to step into those waters, the turns of plot were impressively dated (likely back to the 1980s and the last time Crowe was part of a tour as a journalist). The male characters weren’t much better - there was the POC there just to provide Wisdom to the WEMPBD,there was the sad manwhore who just can’t manage to do his job, some guy with a man bun who I think was supposed to be edgy, and the dude who had a fake British accent because funny? Maybe? And of course, everyone get ready to boo and hiss at the EVIL BUSINESS DUDE who wants to make sure THINGS ARE PROFITABLE! WHO WANTS TO DO A JOB TO MAKE MONEY, AMIRITE? ISN’T IT ALL ABOUT FEELINGS? (I mean, I know that’s why *I* go to work everyday. Not the paycheck that allows me to pay rent or anything). Roadies took the most eye-roll-inducing moments of Jerry Maguire (ones that you wrote off because you figured it was Tom Cruise Cruising) and Almost Famous (which you wrote off because you figured it was a nostalgia piece from the perspective of a 15-year-old), and mashes them together into a giant saccarine stew. (They accuse the old road dog of a horrendous, horrendous crime, but the WEMPBD feels bad for him getting fired and indicted because of his comb over? I nearly threw my ipad across the fucking room.)

While Vinyl had the potential to be good but was squandered by egos, bad writing and the most spectacular overacting this side of William Shatner (Bobby C, I love you mang, but what works on stage does not work on the little screen), Roadies is, in my mind, one of the most spectacular train wrecks of the year. I will likely watch a few more episodes just to see how much worse it gets. Because it’s horrible, terrible, no good and very bad. So bad that I want Showtime to get a few road crew members together to comment on it during episodes in the style of Statler and Waldorf (or MST3K, whichever is your pleasure).

As my friend [ profile] lwoodbloo so wisely quoted Dorothy Parker, this is terrible with raisins on it. The special terrible.
offbalance: (l33tness darkside)
A few thoughts on today:

1. Welcome to Night Vale had a big fancy performance at Town Hall tonight for the second anniversary of that rather terrific podcast. It made me realize that the last time I was in Town Hall was about 10 years ago, almost to the day, to see the Magnetic Fields. And that took me back to that night. It felt like what Edith Wharton wrote about in the opera scenes in The Age of Innocence, where there was so much going on offstage that it almost dwarfed the action on stage. Everyone was excited to see the Magnetic Fields, but they were more excited to see each other. Some day I will turn it into fiction that people will want to read. Which may mean I would need to re-read The Age of Innocence to do so. (oh, darn. It's only one of my favorite books.)

2. Speaking of anniversaries, twenty years ago, the Rangers were in the Stanley Cup finals. They are again!!! But they lost game one in OT to the Kings. *sigh* I'm hopeful, though. Because life as a Ranger fan is one lived in hope. (and dying in despair, but we're ignoring that at the moment. GO BLUE!)

3. I never have enough time to do everything I have to do, everything I want to do, and still sleep. Such an old complaint, and it's more true than ever this week. I've had flashes of wanting to be creative, but it was during a moment when I had to be productive in a different way at work. *sigh* And I never sleep enough. Ever.

4. I realized recently that while work is going decently, I keep getting knocked over because I was beating everything on easy mode up until now. It's been moved up to Medium and now I'm getting my ass kicked a bit again. Oh well. Time to level up again.

But first. SLEEP.
offbalance: (Wayne excellent by this is yesterday)
So there's a lot of things I can't get enough of lately.

I've been into St. Vincent since they first exploded onto the indie scene in 2006 or so.

I've never been a huge Nirvana fan. I definitely like them, though. It's taken years, but my appreciation has deepened. Though I will always probably be a bigger Foo Fighters fan at heart, I totally get why Nirvana was huge and so many are so devoted.

I also love the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. I wish I could just livestream the whole thing and I think it's utter bullshit that they didn't get to do the jam this year. (also, do not even get me started on how they inducted fucking Cat Stevens when The Stooges have not been inducted. Or so many other more important artists.) HBO does a pretty good job with the broadcast, though.

So, this year, Nirvana was inducted. Totally right on. Michael Stipe gave a great speech to induct them, and they were able to perform 4 songs. And, in a genius decision, they decided to invite 4 incredible female artists to stand in for Kurt, gone lo these 20 years. (Christ fuck, I'm OLD.) And it was awesome. Joan Jett shredded the face off of "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Kim Gordon blew the doors off of the Barclays Center with her rendition of "Aneurysm" (though I didn't care much for the song itself). I've had Lorde's twitchy, bizarre-yet-awesome David-Bowie-Meets-David-Byrne version of "All Apologies" in my head ALL BLOODY DAY. But the best of the four, in my biased opinion, is Annie Clark's take on "Lithium." "Lithium" was (and still is) my favorite Nirvana song. (I always saw it as proof of Kurt's sense of humor - and I loved how bizarre the lyrics were). Plus, it had that amazing bass line. Kurt's version always sounded a bit snarky to me (which I loved!), but Annie's version feels like she's inhabiting the narrator completely, and I can't stop listening to her version. I do not WANT to stop listening to her version. So, naturally, the only one I have available to me is the one recorded from the special on my dvr. Thankfully, digital recording allows for lots of rewinding without worrying you're going to destroy the recording or the recorder.

I also think all four of these women should head out on tour with Pat, Dave and Kris and play Nirvana songs. It can be a limited tour if it has to be, but hot damn. Whoever said that they should get these artists to step in for Kurt was a genius. The songs sound better on them, somehow.

(It's funny, but when they announced that Nirvana was getting inducted this year I joked to [ profile] j_bkl that they should have Courtney sing them. Mostly because it would make the heads of SO MANY obnoxious fans that blame Courtney for every hangnail that Kurt ever had explode.)

The powers that release stuff need to get these performances on iTunes yesterday.


In two sleeps, I get to see Welcome to Night Vale live. For those of you who are unfamiliar, Welcome to Night Vale is a podcast. To the uninitiated, I describe it as Lake Wobegon as written by H.P. Lovecraft. Over the course of almost 50 episodes, I've experienced this weird and wonderful world, voiced by the mellifluous Cecil Baldwin as only an old-time radio drama can be. It's bizarre and brilliant and free. So, if any of this sounds vaguely interesting, go download the first episode and get listening.


Supernatural is completely meta at this point. It found a place on the fuck-it plateau in crazytown and built a house. And I'm loving every damn minute. Fuck the haters. (and Mark Sheppard is going to be a REGULAR next season. I know he's the Spike of the SPN-verse, and I'm 100% okay with that.)


Also, there's this show called Orphan Black that everyone needs to watch. It's hands down the best sci-fi anything that I've seen in so long I almost didn't know how to react when I first saw it. Granted, it takes a large chunk of the first season to find its feet, but once it does, its off to the races. Tatiana Maslany plays half a dozen clones and they all feel like completely different people. She's a marvel and deserves all of the awards.

Fargo is also fun, and worth watching.


A few months back I went with [ profile] blergeatkitty and [ profile] teany to a club in Greenpoint to watch a band play nearly all of the songs in the Beatles songbook. They were trying to break the record of the most Beatles songs played by a single band at a single gig. (Not quite all, and that's fine. No one needs to hear Revolution 9 or Why Don't We Do It In the Road live anyway). The band was great, the experience was amazing, and I've been on a MASSIVE Beatles kick ever since. Massive. A few years ago my wonderful husband bought me that amazing box set of all of the remastered releases, all of which are now on my ipod. I have discovered that:

1. I still am only meh on Let It Be.
2. The White Album has its moments, but it will never be my absolute favorite.
3. Holy Shit why doesn't anyone talk about how AMAZING With The Beatles is? Maybe it's because I never listened to that one as much as Please Please Me or whatever franken-albums were released in the US in its stead, but it wasn't until this boxed set that I got to hear about fucking off the chain that album is. The Beatles are more confident than their first album, but they're not as polished as on subsequent albums. It's a feisty record.
4. They're good. They're SO good. They still manage to sound new.

It's the fiftieth anniversary of A Hard Day's Night in July, and they're bringing it back to theaters 4th of July weekend. I'm going. I'm so going.
offbalance: (alton brown multi-purpose)
Like so many of you, I got sucked into the magical world of the newer, sleeker, social media. As a lover of pithy one-liners and other bon mots, things like twitter sucked me in. Facebook, too. I mean, they have their uses. There were a lot of people that used to have LJs that are better served by a 140-character limit. Or just posting a picture. Hell, it's not bad for when you walk out of work so mentally exhausted that you can barely croak out a sentence.

I do miss the privacy tiers. The icons. The million little things that made LJ so great back in the day. So, I'm going to try and make myself write things again. Things longer than a few lines. I'm hoping that maybe if I do, I can stimulate myself into more writing, and dust off a few old projects and fire up a few new ones. I miss being creative. I don't hate having gainful employment and money and all of that fun stuff, but I feel a push to do something, anything, that reminds me that I'm not a robot.

So, let's see if I manage to pull this off. I've made big promises before. I'm just writing this to start.
offbalance: (newsteam by uptown girl gfx)
Hey look! I'm posting!!

Hopefully I'll be doing more of this. I want to do more of this. Either way, have a recap of last year.

Year in Review )
offbalance: (supervixen - lauralatham)
Sandy has come and gone. For all of you who are familiar with the Daria musical, the Big Wet Rainstorm's over. (For now.)

We never lost power. Our internet went out for about 35 minutes, but we never lost the cable or anything else.

We live in a heavy, brick pre-war building that's well-maintained. I barely even heard the wind. (Although [ profile] dotfic said she didn't hear any of the low howling wind sounds that I heard during Irene. Or any other windy day.)

We are extremely fortunate. Right now, I know that [ profile] quasisonic, her husband, and my parents are without power. So are many friends. [ profile] j_bkl and I are just chilling, watching the news and following twitter closely. Just like last night. I have to say, social media is excellent in times like this. I remember when I was a kid, the best way to get updates were to hope your phone was working, and/or head outside for a minute to try and talk to your neighbors.

So, like most of you who don't live in the city, we've been sitting here watching the news, aghast at the devastation. And waiting to hear what's going on. Subway tunnels are flooded, as are many streets. I have no clue when or how I'm getting back to work. That's about all for now. Let me know how you're doing. I've mostly been using FB and Twitter and Tumblr to keep in touch, but hey, might as well use the LJ too to see if anyone's out there.
offbalance: (mm talk to humans)
After two hours, FOUR grocery stores, and a farmer’s market I STILL do not have all of the items I need in order to attempt to make a soup recipe I was interested in making. Exasperatingly enough, some of the employees didn’t even know what barley was. I only wish I were kidding. Looks like it will be tuna casserole tonight, even though awesome husband of excellence is going to attempt to find me some instant barley and ground ginger. So perhaps soup might happen, even if in leftover format.
offbalance: (amalthea by antheia)
Earlier this week, I found out that a good friend from college passed away. John was a year ahead of me, and we kind of lost touch after he graduated. In the olden days before social media, dumb crap like that happened all the time. But when the entire world joined facebook, he friended me and we sort of blipped at each other via mentions and status updates. I ran into a mutual friend (Liz) one day that happened to be his wedding day, as she was off to rent a car to drive to it. Other than that, I don't think I saw him hardly at all after he left Albany.

Then on the way to work this week I see note via facebook that he had lost his battle with lymphoma. He left behind a wife and seven-month-old son. I didn't even know he was sick. Liz told me that he had only been sick for a few months, that it progressed quickly and he had died of heart failure. (They started out and stayed close, kind of like how Carly & I were from the jump.)

John was one of the sweetest guys I knew in college. He was proof that you could be someone no one wanted to mess with but still be one of the most caring, generous friends a person could hope to have. I was part of a group that spent lots of happy nights in the apartment he had in a shabby, run-down building on the edge of Washington Park called The Willet. So many great parties, and nights spent just hanging out were spent in that place. Granted, I wasn't as close to him as some others were (thanks again, social anxiety - that was during the era where I desperately wanted to allow myself to get close to people but found it really difficult to do so), but he always made me feel like I mattered, and deserved to be included, and that my thoughts and opinions were valid and interesting. I hope I made him feel that way at least once.

I don't think I'm going to go to the memorial. I agree with what a different friend said about it - I'd feel like an interloper. It'd been too long since we'd been in real contact, and I know so little about what was going on with him. It makes me sad. But maybe some people are only meant to be in your life a short while. I don't know. But he was a great guy, and will be missed. As I said on facebook, 20 year old me was inconsolable when she found out the news.


Apr. 12th, 2012 09:12 am
offbalance: (wicked by hermionesviolin)
"However, you should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it's acid in the face - who will love them now? Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it feels best served piping hot, straight out of the oven of outrage. My opinion? Take care of revenge right away. Push, shove, scratch that person while they're still within arm's reach. Don't let them get away! Who knows when you'll get this opportunity again?"

--Mindy Kaling, from Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? (and Other Concerns)

[thanks to [ profile] quasisonic for the loan. Loving this so far!)

An Argument

Feb. 4th, 2012 08:32 pm
offbalance: (Nemomento (kevinpease))
I'm kind of disappointed in myself, I have to say. I've been off all of this time and I've barely accomplished anything...


Hi everyone - this post has been hijacked by The Rest of Sharon's Body - but for now, let's call ourselves the other 99%. See, usually we're pushed beyond the brink in service to the brain.

Yes, we realize that's how it usually works.

But what Brainy doesn't quite grasp is that this break was not about her.

(Ankle: Break?! You guys seriously had to go there?)

Okay, fine. Poor choice of words. This forced time off. Ankle was fucked up. Then the Respiratory Team had to go off and get bronchitis again, as if the rest of us didn't have enough to deal with what with Derpy over here being on crutches. Remember, this is the same kid that had to go to dancing school to keep from falling over her feet and who messed up her ankle crossing the damn street. So the last thing we needed was for Lungs to go and get in trouble again.

Lungs: I resent that! You act like I did this on purpose. I didn't.
Ankle: Really? Considering you're usually head drama queen around here, I'm surprised that this wasn't some kind of last-ditch grab for attention.
Lungs: I assure you, I didn't get bronchitis for the second time in six months for the lulz. And besides, we're getting sidetracked from the point here.

That's true, Wheezy. We really should get back on topic.

Lungs: Thanks. And stop calling me that. It's not funny.

Anyways, Brain has been flipping her shit after realizing that there's hardly a week until we head to the doctor to find out if we're done with these blasted crutches already, and we have yet to write the Great American Something. Or even really read the great American something. In fact, we've really not been doing much at all.

And there's a really good reason for that. See, as much as Brain is going to pout and stomp and shout that it's no excuse, regrowing bone and killing off a nasty lung infection takes lots of effort and energy. And we only have so much. It's fine most of the time to turn over all of our resources to her. When we're healthy, it's okay for us to get by on not enough rest just to get through a given week. But we're NOT healthy. Not really. We're home on this enforced leave so that we can get better. So we can get up and go back to the life currently on pause. We can hardly make great ideas happen when all of our energy has to go (at least in the short term) to getting physically fixed again.

Brain: Excuses, excuses. Just like for all of your bs reasons for needing all of that extra, wasteful sleep!

It's not extra - maybe if someone else would shut off and shut up a little earlier and let the rest of us sleep a little earlier, we wouldn't be sleeping so late, no?

Brain: You said you had some kind of point to make?

The point is that you're not the only one in this meat suit. And we're just as valuable a part of is as you are. And while, true, we haven't done much writing or reading, aren't we feeling better?

Lungs: Definitely. Thank goodness.
Ankle: Err, mostly. I mean, I felt totally better until about like, Thursday? Then I started hurting like a motherfucker again. It's like all the bones are coming back at once or something. Also, OW. ><

That takes a lot out of us. Remember how not fun being in pain was before Ankle had her surgery?

Brain: Yeah, I guess.

Isn't the whole point of this to GET BETTER?

Brain: Technically.

And, in some way, wasn't it nice for YOU to have a little downtime? To not be running on FULL for once?

Brain: Well, when I don't think about it too hard, it's not awful.

Plus, we did get a lot of other stuff done, didn't we?

Brain: Like what? Wedding Stuff?


Brain: I guess that's sort of pressing anyway. It's only 109 days away! JESUS. I HAVE SO MUCH THAT I HAVE TO...wait. I really don't, do I? Honeymoon is booked, and that's exciting. Plus, have confirmed all sorts of things I had to confirm with the venue. Invites [ profile] redesigner mocked up are beautiful, just need to have them ordered and printed. I just have a few things left - like buying or ordering the centerpiece plants, and setting up the website RSVP thing, and figuring out hair and makeup. Oh, and what in hell I'm doing about favors, if anything.

And considering that it's so soon, isn't that kind of a big deal to get that shit done before starting a new project?

Brain: Well, yes.

Now, are you FINALLY going to get off of our asses about the fact that we kind of had to be lumps in order to feel better?

Brain: Okay. I'll try.

Now, can we all work together to maybe, just maybe be 100% when Ankle goes back to the doc on the 13th and we find out if we're going to be going back to our life and job and everything.

Brain: What the hell do you think I've been so worried about?? I're right. I'll let everyone else get to work.

Good. Thank you.

Brain: I'll try anyway. It's not easy to sit here and do nothing, you know!

Actually, we don't know! When was the last time you let any of us do nothing??

Brain: Ummm....sleeping is nothing!

Not convincing.

Brain: Yeah, I Know.


Jan. 23rd, 2012 08:20 pm
offbalance: (big damn heroes by antheia)
Originally posted by [ profile] cantarina1 at post
Originally posted by [ profile] electricdruid at The fiasco continues

ACTA in a Nutshell –

What is ACTA?  ACTA is the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement. A new intellectual property enforcement treaty being negotiated by the United States, the European Community, Switzerland, and Japan, with Australia, the Republic of Korea, New Zealand, Mexico, Jordan, Morocco, Singapore, the United Arab Emirates, and Canada recently announcing that they will join in as well.

Why should you care about ACTA? Initial reports indicate that the treaty will have a very broad scope and will involve new tools targeting “Internet distribution and information technology.”

What is the goal of ACTA? Reportedly the goal is to create new legal standards of intellectual property enforcement, as well as increased international cooperation, an example of which would be an increase in information sharing between signatory countries’ law enforcement agencies.

Essential ACTA Resources

  • Read more about ACTA here: ACTA Fact Sheet
  • Read the authentic version of the ACTA text as of 15 April 2011, as finalized by participating countries here: ACTA Finalized Text
  • Follow the history of the treaty’s formation here: ACTA history
  • Read letters from U.S. Senator Ron Wyden wherein he challenges the constitutionality of ACTA: Letter 1 | Letter 2 | Read the Administration’s Response to Wyden’s First Letter here: Response
  • Watch a short informative video on ACTA: ACTA Video
  • Watch a lulzy video on ACTA: Lulzy Video

Say NO to ACTA. It is essential to spread awareness and get the word out on ACTA.

Via Tumblr

This entry was also posted at (comments: comment count unavailable)
offbalance: (Scott Pilgrim - Punch)
So, after two weeks of fighting the Cough That Would Not Die, I finally made it to my regular doctor today.

Not ONLY am I recovering from ankle surgery, I now also have bronchitis. I am SO happy about this, I can't even begin to tell you. ::sigh::

I can only hope that this means that I'm getting all of my illness and badness out of the way early, and later this year, when I need to not be sick? I won't be. Fingers crossed, anyway.

The only bright spot in this really shitty time has been the actions and behaviors of my friends and loved ones. Everyone has been amazing. They've offered me rides, loaned me books and movies, come to visit and entertain me, sent me fun things to read and look at online, and basically just been all-around amazing. You guys make me feel so loved and awesome and lucky I'm tearing up as I write this.

[ profile] j_bkl, I feel I have to say, has been incredible through this entire thing, too. He's gone so far above and beyond without even so much as a grumble. This is why I'm going to be Mrs. [ profile] j_bkl in a few months, kids. Because so far, he's displayed that no matter how crap things get, he's just going to square his shoulders and do his best to fix things. And the rest of my family, too - my parents have been amazing (as usual) and [ profile] quasisonic has been here at the drop of a hat whenever I've needed her. So that's the good stuff I'm trying to focus on.

In the meanwhile, I'm just going to do my best to deal. Maybe next week I can imitate the Battlestar Galactica skit on Portlandia if that's still on Netflix. Or maybe work on some creative ideas buzzing around my brain. We'll see. In the meantime, there's going to be bed.
offbalance: (big damn heroes by antheia)
It should surprise no one when I say that I love the internet. It's brought me so many wonderful things into my life. I've made some of my best friends through here. I've learned about shows, movies, books, art, and music that have changed my life for the better. I've watched with pride as this insane, disparate group of pixels swells together and achieves real things.

Which is why I'm so frustrated and disgusted by SOPA and PIPA. What are SOPA and PIPA?

They are two bills before Congress, known as the Protect IP Act (PIPA) in the Senate and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) in the House. These bills would censor the Web and impose harmful regulations on American business. Millions of Internet users and entrepreneurs already oppose SOPA and PIPA, because of the crushing limitations they would place on creativity in one of the last great creative frontiers. What's more, all of the companies whining, crying and complaining that they need these bills to fight piracy already have PLENTY of tools to do so. They are just trying to influence policy with their lobby dollars because that pesky pesky due process just takes too damn long. What's more, pirate sites can still be accessed via their IP addresses - but SOPA and PIPA hand over blanket controls to do more than advertised.

Wikipedia is under a blackout but still has links to a wealth of information about both bills.

[ profile] zekejojo posted a fantastic video that I feel breaks it down perfectly:

PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

On a lighter note, the Oatmeal also has a fantastic comic that explains the problems with SOPA and PIPA.

I urge everyone reading this to call your congressperson and senators and voice your opposition of this bill. It's dangerous to the internet as we know it and love it, and won't really achieve the objectives intended.
offbalance: (record)

For the longest time, one of my small frustrations was the lack of a good song that featured my name. I have a deep, blistering hatred of the song "My Sharona", mostly due to overexposure/having it forced on me. And because my name is Sharon, not Sharona. That, and the damn thing is annoying.

So, imagine my shock when I discover today that one of my all-time favorite artists recorded something called "Song For Sharon."

I was watching The Last Waltz on VH1 Classic today and when Joni Mitchell came on to sing "Coyote." I decided to nose around on Spotify to see what album it was on, since I've liked that song since I first heard it, and I had emusic credits to burn. A few clicks and I discovered it was the first track on Hejira, which was towards the middle of Joni's jazzy-experimental-but-still-accessible phase (things arguably went off the rails with Mingus, but that's open for discussion). My eyes did a casual sweep over the track listing, and there it was. So after sharing my squee with [ profile] blergeatkitty, I had to listen to it immediately (despite it being almost nine minutes long). I'm pleased to report that it's absolutely beautiful, and I love it. To my delight, it mentions several places around my city, and even touches on a few things going on in my life right now. It's like the universe sent me a great big gift, right when I really need one.

Lyrics  )
offbalance: (Scott Pilgrim - Punch)
So, yesterday, I saw my doc for the follow up. And I got the full prognosis/report.

Things are not nearly as positive as I'd hoped/thought.

For starters, there was a LOT more wrong with the ankle than just shards of cartilage everywhere. My mom swears that she and the doc explained this to me after the surgery, but did agree that it was entirely possible that information wasn't permeating my drug-addled state.

So basically the situation is this. Yes, the cartilage broke and flew every which and painful way possible. What's more, is that a big ass piece of bone also broke. And was also bouncing around amidst the cartilage, having fun with all the nerves and things you find in an ankle. There's even pictures from the surgery! The doctor had to remove the chipped-off section of bone, and drill holes in the remaining bone to promote blood flow and stimulate the regrowth of the chipped section. I'm also on Glucosamin for that purpose.

That's the good news.

The not-so-good news? Crutches. For six weeks. No weight on the left leg. For six weeks. Doc took the dressing off, but made it abundantly clear that the foot can't hold weight. It can be used for occasional balance (like showers) but nothing much more.

That also means no subway. And just trying to get from my apartment to the car on the crutches is an ordeal. Forget trying to go three avenues and two blocks to the express bus. Not to mention that gettng into the bus itself would not work. To say that I'm not great on the crutches is an understatement. Sunday night I almost broke a toe on the side opposite the broken ankle because I swung my leg into the crutch. (Doc said it wasn't broken, but it's bruised and hurting almost as badly.)

So I called work. I told them the deal and said that I would be happy to either work from home or come in if someone wanted to send a car for me to do so. HR was not interested in this. (I'm sure on crutches I'm a Workman's Comp claim waiting to happen). So it looks like I'm going to have to take some short-term disability time for the next month or so. My bosses were pretty understanding about the whole thing, surprisingly. I guess no one wants this kind of thing to happen to them, so there's no point of giving someone crap about it. One boss pointed out that me being exhausted from traveling and in pain every day might not be the best thing, and maybe it's just better for me to get better and come back after.

She's not wrong - I am in pain. Today was the first day I didn't really need the painkillers the doc prescribed for post-surgery. Naturally, I felt guilty about not feeling so badly. My brain says all sorts of nasty things to me unless I'm absolutely cross-eyed with pain. It wears on you after awhile. The brainweasles actually convinced me tonight that I could probably stand up and be just fine, since laying down didn't hurt anymore.

Brainweasles are not smart animals.

It hurt. Very much. I stood by my couch for a second - just stood! - and saw stars. Ankle has been yelling at me about this poor life choice for an hour or so now. Ankle definitely hurts again. ::sigh::

I love time off as much as the next guy, but I'm tired of feeling useless and helpless. [ profile] j_bkl has had to do so much for me the last few days that I'm actually concerned about him going back to work tomorrow. I hate that I have to feel this way. And that for the next 5 or so weeks, I'm going to be this damn way. I'm someone who cherishes their independence and self-sufficiency, and all of that is pretty much out the window right now. It's going to be hard not to be depressed about it.

That's pretty much the lay of the land right now. Home for the next month or so. Not happy about it. Not really much to do about it except catch up on some movie and tv viewings and maybe do something creative, too. We'll see. I'll be doing whatever I have to do in order to get better and not go insane in the process.
offbalance: (Bones - Jeffersonian)
So, surgery wound up being no big at all. I was all freaked out that they'd turn me away because of this post nasal cough that arrived at the beginning of the week. But not so! The anesthesiologist gave me a few puffs of hospital grade albuterol and I was fine. But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

J and I worked out that the best plan for surgery would be that my parents would take point on the day of the procedure, and he'd stick it out with me at home for most of the recovery. So, my mom and dad arrived at 5:30 am on Thursday to take me to the part of the hospital that deals with outpatient surgeries of all kinds. Can't lie, I was a bit nervous. Also, unpleased at being up so gorram early. Still, I discovered that I was first in line, which wasn't all bad. My mom stayed with me as we waited, and the place was empty.

And if you're in need of a hospital, I have to say I've been very impressed with Maimonides so far. Everything is clean and relatively new, and all of the staff I've dealt with were really and truly nice. For someone to be upbeat and cheerful at 6:30 in the morning? That means something. And all of the RNs I worked with were really great. One came over and took my blood pressure and temperature, the other did another checkup on me. Then I met my anesthesia team (go team!) which was a clever way to explain that two hot doctors would be giving me nice knockout drugs. There was a really funny scrub nurse, too. I got to sit in a nice recliner and talk to this whole bunch of people as I got ready for the surgery.

I chatted with my doctor and another doctor who would be working with him (likely a resident or intern). I'm used to just seeing my doc in his office, but as it turns out, he's an attending, and seems to love to teach. He was talking to the other doc about an article he read that the other doctor would find useful. I'm a big fan of teaching hospitals, and like seeing older and newer doctors working together, so this made me extra happy.

After a bunch of tests and checks and forms to sign, I was wheeled into the OR and put on a stretcher. They put an IV in my hand (ow) and told me I might feel a burning sensation. Shortly after said sensation, I was down for the count.

A short time (to me) later, I woke up thinking that [ profile] katiebea was pushing me along to recovery. I asked her what she was doing there, only to be informed that this very nice recovery nurse was not, in fact, [ profile] katiebea. (I was on drugs and without glasses, so I think it was hardly the worst thing that could have happened). I was groggy and disoriented and thirsty as all get out. I was given water and told to sleep. Tried that, didn't work, eventually got more water and someone delivered my mom, who had been holding my glasses. My doc also stopped by to tell me how it went. I remember some things, but in the state I was in, Nathan Fillion could have professed his love to me and I would have barely remembered.

The gist is this: ankle was more fucked than we thought. Shards of cartilage (also the name of my new metal band) were everywhere, and causing all sorts of pain and inflammation to the ankle, which he sucked out with his magical medical machines. Doc had to drill holes in the bone to promote new growth, and I'm going to have to stay off it for longer than originally hoped.

On the bright side, though? I feel BETTER. No, seriously. My ankle is a bit sore but keeps insisting in some way that it's much happier. It hurts way less than it did for the cortizone shot, and it's obvious now as to why. The recovery part frustrates me. I'm not a good patient. I hate the crutches, and the inability to take A Real Shower. (Operation: Wash Hair will likely occur tomorrow and will involve my kitchen sink and help from my mom and/or sister. ) I hate that I have to be waited on. [ profile] j_bkl has been taking good care of me, bringing me all sorts of things, moving furniture around to accommodate my gimpy ass, and being a source of love, a source of humor, and a source of positivity, which only helps with the healing process. And friends and family have been popping up in droves with offers of help and company and entertainment, making me feel really loved. And J's folks sent me a big bouquet of lovely flowers, too. They're decorating the coffee table, which has been moved to make room for gimpy.

I'll have more complete details about what's the what after I see my doc on Monday. In the meantime, I have much tv to watch and much healing to do. And I dearly hope that the Rangers manage a few shots on goal already, they're already down by 1 with 6:45 left in the first period. Come ON, guys!

Later, 2011

Jan. 1st, 2012 10:24 pm
offbalance: (carrie don't look by saava)
Man, I can only think of a handful of years I've been as happy to see the back of as I was 2011. This was a bad fucking year. It was a year of pain, of heartbreak, of disappointment, and so much death. So many people close to people I care about (and by extension, close to me) lost their lives this year. People broke up, people got fired, and mostly did their best to wade through the river of shit that this year threw at us. All in all, it was pretty miserable.

There were bright spots, though. Almost all of them people. My friends, my family, and most of all J, who reminds me in all sorts of little ways on a daily basis why I am so very, very lucky to have him in my life.

2012 has started out pretty well so far. Rang it in at a friend's house surrounded by music and good people. Then today another friend threw a super fun brunch that involved mimosas, great food, and snark. A fantastic day all around.

I'm a little apprehensive because I'm having surgery on my ankle on Thursday. For those of you who haven't heard, the cliff notes are that I twisted it back in the big Christmas blizzard of 2010. My jerky former ortho sent me for 10 weeks of PT before he thought an MRI might be a good idea, and then after finding out in said MRI that I chipped off cartilage, he suggested a cortizone shot. Said shot had me in abject pain and on my back for a week in June. He shrugged me off when I called to complain. So I found a great new ortho. He had previously fixed [ profile] quasisonic's knee, so he comes recommended. He did that funny thing doctors do when they want to call another doc an idiot but can't for professional reasons, and explained to me why surgery was the way to go. So that will be done thursday. And I am scared. I don't like the idea of being put under anesthesia, or the fact that I don't know how helpless I'm going to be after the fact. J has taken several days off of work in order to be here and take care of me, and I"m in the process of cooking and trying to have things in the house in order for when the day comes, but there's really only so much you can do to prepare. SIGH.

2012 is going to be a big year for me. [ profile] j_bkl and I are getting married in May!! And I'm hoping there will be lots of other positive changes in my life, too. We shall see what the year holds.

It figures

Dec. 2nd, 2011 12:07 pm
offbalance: (My dad thinks you suck)
I have all sorts of things to tell the Internet, and naturally, LJ is undergoing a DDOS attack. *sigh* So I'm posting here, and hopefully things will be ported over once everything's back up and running. Blah.

So! First the bad news, then the good news.

Bad news: I need ankle surgery. *sigh* I started having all sorts of trouble again about a month or so ago, and despite trying to ignore it until it went away, I finally decided I had to do something about it. So I decided to go to see my sister's ortho, as I was less than pleased about how my previous ortho handled things surrounding my cortizone shot last June.   (there's also the part where he sent me to physical therapy before sending me to have an MRI on the ankle.)

New Ortho is great.  New Ortho read my MRI report and listened to everything that my other ortho did and I had the pleasure of watching a doctor call another doctor an idiot without actually saying it in so many words.   That was fun.   But this guy took a lot of time to explain everything to me very carefully, including the risks and worst-case scenarios.  That, and the beautiful job he did on my sister's knee surgery made me feel a lot more confident about going under the knife.  I'm still the opposite of pleased, but I know for a fact he's going to give me a scrip for th Fun Drugs after the surgery.  So, something to look forward to in addition to a few days off of work.

Good news!
My wedding dress has arrived at the salon.  I get to go and see it and try it on this coming Thursday.   [personal profile] blergeatkitty has graciously agreed to accompany me.   The next time I get to see it will be my first alteration appointment in....March?  I have it written down.  I'm pretty sure.

Other good news:  As much as I love my laptop, the old girl is finally starting to show her age.  Rather than deal with the usual hell I endure when my computer decides to die, I've instead decided to conquer matters head on, and I've ordered myself a shiny new HP, with lots of cool bells and whistles.  The thing I'm most excited about (aside from lots of memory and speed) is that this new laptop will have a camera, so I'll be able to skype!  That's very exciting to me.  Oh, and it's a bright shade of "sonoma red."  I also find that incredibly cool.

And you know what ELSE is awesome?  It's FRIDAY.   And I have Monday off.  Which is good, as this weekend is going to be totally batshit insane.  And then, pretty much every weekend after through New Years is going to be just moderately batshit insane.  At least I'll be ready for some forced quiet times after the surgery given the insane merry-go-round of this month.  

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