Day 14: Still Not King.

[offbalance]

Wanted: a flattering, size 12 cocktail dress w/scoop, sweetheart or square neck that's not orange, yellow, puke green or any variant thereof (coral, lime, etc.). Would also prefer to avoid black or white, as dress would be primarily worn at weddings. Dress must be A-line, and flattering on a woman who manages to eat more than diet coke and cigarettes on a daily basis, but is not what is commonly referred to as "plus-sized."

This has proven so difficult to find that I'm honestly expecting to find a winning lottery ticket and a diamond necklace sewn into the hem of the damn thing when I do track it down.

So far I have been to Bloomingdale's North and South, Macy's, Bergdorf's, Lord & Taylor, Saks, BCBG, Ann Taylor, and more. I have been viewing websites (Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, Overstock.com, JCrew, Trashy Diva, ModCloth, you name it) and have found NOTHING.

The new plan of action is Syms at lunch today, then possibly Loehmann's Manhattan after work tomorrow. I also have to figure out how to cram in time at Century 21 and/or Daffy's.

New Orleans Girl suggested that I should start looking in the consignment stores, which I will do. The clothes the last 2+ seasons have been pretty awful, so I'm hoping even OLDER clothes will cooperate. Hopefully I can find something classic.

Everything in the stores now is awful, awful, AWFUL: bubble skirts and super-short waists, what amounts to an unstructured slip, or hippie gowns - all in colors that look positively rotten on me: orange, yellow, lime/puke/neon green, turquoise, beige, coral (might as well be orange). Everything has ruffles. (I think if you're over the age of 7 you have no business wearing ruffles, but that's my own prejudice). What doesn't have ruffles appears to be a glorified caftan. (Designers: if this is your idea of size-inclusive design, UR DOIN IT WRONG.)

*throws up hands* The wedding is in two weeks. I'm starting to freak out. Worst comes to worst I could try to have the zipper on the not-quite-there Nanette Lapore dress fixed, wear the even less-there dress I wore for Carly & Tim's wedding (it has beading and a cowl front. I don't know either), or the possibly-inappropriate New Year's Eve dress. Because I have no other options.

For years, I passed by racks of beautiful evening dresses, because I had no reason to buy one, since I had nowhere to wear it. Now? I HAVE a reason. I have places to go. And the racks look like the wardrobe room on Three's Company. I'm starting to wonder if I'm in hell.

Comments

[firynze.livejournal.com]

Have you tried Newport News? They're hit-or-miss, but sometimes you get a good hit. I think I have coupons, too, if you find something.

[stacyinthecity.livejournal.com]

:( Bubbleskirts were an awful idea. Just awful.

[mclittlebitch.livejournal.com]

Coldwater Creek can be a bit frumpy, but they tend to have nice basic dresses.

[basepair.livejournal.com]

This and this are close to what you want! This is a pretty navy. I have this dress in the aqua color, and it's gorgeous, and you can always wear a tank top under it if it's too low.

[physedluver.livejournal.com]

Have you tried Ann Taylor? I've had pretty good luck with them and they tend to have human sizes and cute stuff. Not to be another cook in what sounds like a stressful and frustrating kitchen. Crossing my fingers that you will find something.

[angelicillusion.livejournal.com]

Um a question any personal shopper needs to ask: what's your budget??

[angelicillusion.livejournal.com]

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2989008?refsid=188155_6&refcat=0~2376776~2374325~2381560&SourceID=1&SlotID=1&origin=related