Then where are all of you, if you're so numerous, in this argument? Why aren't you all out there, if you keep insisting you're getting caught in the crossfire, why is no one starting a stronger movement to have everything changed to an FCU? That's been nowhere. Where's the persuasion for that option? Of its value? That's all been relatively quiet during this whole scrum. I've seen no opponents for gay marriage before now that weren't latter-day Anita Bryants. Why isn't there a bigger movement being generated, if you think there are so many for FCUs?
I hold no litmus test for queerness, as I said before, people are all over the Kinsey scale in my opinion. And I'm sorry you've been getting static over this, but I think it goes to the heart of how fraught this issue is, and how important it is to others, and I think that can't be ignored. I also think it's because there are many who feel as slighted and hurt as you do by the politics of the side they're railing against. This is a very emotional issue, and unfortunately, it can't be anything but.
I have friends who truly want to marry their partners, either soon or someday. And they can't. And I think that's horrible and unfair, and it breaks my heart. And heartbreak makes the knees jerk, as you know.
My friend laugingirl summed it up perfectly in my opinion:
"I'm a little torn on the whole issue of marriage vs. civil unions. I realize that the whole thing would be a lot more "palatable" to a lot of people if Marriage as a religious construct were taken out of it... and honestly, my ideal situation would be for civil unions to be controlled by the government and to afford governmental benefits and to be available to both heterosexual and homosexual couples; and for marriage to be left up to the priests and rabbis and other religious leaders and for its benefits to be only religious ones. If your religion doesn't accept you, you have the choice to put up with it or find another religion... it's a lot harder to just up and find another country.
But, let's be real.. that's not going to happen. Which means that civil unions are not good enough... at least not until there is a check box on government forms for "partnered" right next to "single" and "married" and checking that box affords people the EXACT same rights as checking the box next to marriage.
Because no person should be unable to visit their loved one in the hospital because they can't be declared their legal family.
Because no parent should have to worry about losing their child because they can't be declared their legal guardian."
I'll try to keep in mind that there is a small group out there that wants a third option. But your side should give some serious thought to ramping up their fight.
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Date: 2009-11-05 03:19 pm (UTC)I hold no litmus test for queerness, as I said before, people are all over the Kinsey scale in my opinion. And I'm sorry you've been getting static over this, but I think it goes to the heart of how fraught this issue is, and how important it is to others, and I think that can't be ignored. I also think it's because there are many who feel as slighted and hurt as you do by the politics of the side they're railing against. This is a very emotional issue, and unfortunately, it can't be anything but.
I have friends who truly want to marry their partners, either soon or someday. And they can't. And I think that's horrible and unfair, and it breaks my heart. And heartbreak makes the knees jerk, as you know.
My friend
"I'm a little torn on the whole issue of marriage vs. civil unions. I realize that the whole thing would be a lot more "palatable" to a lot of people if Marriage as a religious construct were taken out of it... and honestly, my ideal situation would be for civil unions to be controlled by the government and to afford governmental benefits and to be available to both heterosexual and homosexual couples; and for marriage to be left up to the priests and rabbis and other religious leaders and for its benefits to be only religious ones. If your religion doesn't accept you, you have the choice to put up with it or find another religion... it's a lot harder to just up and find another country.
But, let's be real.. that's not going to happen. Which means that civil unions are not good enough... at least not until there is a check box on government forms for "partnered" right next to "single" and "married" and checking that box affords people the EXACT same rights as checking the box next to marriage.
Because no person should be unable to visit their loved one in the hospital because they can't be declared their legal family.
Because no parent should have to worry about losing their child because they can't be declared their legal guardian."
I'll try to keep in mind that there is a small group out there that wants a third option. But your side should give some serious thought to ramping up their fight.