A holiday visit from the trio

[offbalance]

I know I haven't written an adventure of everyone's favorite trio in a long time, but I haven't been inspired. Until now. I went out at lunch to make a purchase for a good cause, and as the old saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished.

Superego: Great! It’s lunchtime! We have one hour to hopefully find something appropriate for the Toys for Tots drive at work.
Ego: Yay! I love guilt-free shopping!

ID: YAY! LET’S BUY A FUZZIE!

Superego: Yes, a stuffed animal is an excellent idea.

Ego: See, she’s useful to have around when we’re dealing with kids.

Superego: Never said she wasn’t!

ID: YAY FUZZIE!!! ::MOOSH::

Superego: I love teddy bears. They’re so appropriate for both sexes. And so many ages!

Ego: So let’s pay for it and get the hell out of here!

ID: FUZZZZZIE!!!!

Ego: Phew. Finally out of that damn store.

Superego: Yes, thank goodness. Now we can go back to work!

Ego: Only if these people stop bashing into us! How the hell are we going to get through?

Superego: Oof – would someone explain to these poor halfwits that two objects can not occupy the same space at the same time?

Ego: I’d love to, but…hey, what’s with the kid?

ID: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!

Superego: I know, we’re all annoyed and unhappy about the crowds, but we have to be tolerant.

Ego: Being tolerant sucks. Would it kill them to gawp less and move faster? Jeeez!

ID: HATE THEM HATE THEM PRECIOUS THEY BURN US MOVE YOU SLOW STUPID STUPIDHEAD HATE YOU HATE YOU OUT OF OUR WAY NOW!!!!!

Superego: They act like it would. Oh yes, the middle of a busy sidewalk is a lovely spot to stop and take a group photo. Honestly.

Ego: It’s not like any of us have to use the sidewalk to WALK anywhere.

Superego: You mean people live and work here? I’m shocked! I thought it was a theme park!

Ego: I didn’t know you could be sarcastic.

Superego: Oh, I have colors you’ve never seen, sweet pea.

Ego: Is that guy taking a picture of his girlfriend in front of J.Crew?

Superego: I believe he is. You can’t see the big tree from that angle.

Ego: They’re fired. I could maybe understand Saks or Bloomingdales or Tiffany’s. But J fucking crew?

ID: SMASH CAMERA ON THEIR LITTLE PIN HEADS!!!

Ego: Um, not for nothing, but she’s starting to really worry me.

Superego: Why is that?

Ego: For one thing, did you know she could turn green?

Superego: WHAT?

ID: KILL YOU KILL YOU ALL EAT YOUR HEAD EAT YOUR FACE SWALLOW YOUR BABIES IN ONE GULP MASH YOUR
CORPSES INTO THE PAVEMENT!!! WALK FASTER, DAMMIT!!!!! GET OUT OF MY WAY!! RAAAAAGE!!!