Just keep swimming

[offbalance]

So, they've clamped down on the internets at work. It's not a bad thing, really. It's actually a really good thing. Without the temptation of the great Digital SHINY SHINY, I've actually been super-duper productive. *sigh* I still have my blackberry, which includes twitter and gmail, to keep me somewhat connected. Of course, I would have been happier adjusting to this new reality without a sharp talking-to from Boss T, but that's how it goes, I guess. He semi-apologized later in the week, and it seems like it was a kind of Chain of Screaming situation, but still, the distractions of THE SHINY were um, sort of distracting me. So, I quit the internet during work/daylight hours. I can check it at home (like now) or someplace OTHER than work, but no longer at work. I'm even holding off on doing stuff at lunch right now, because that's what got me into trouble in the first place. ("Oh, no one'll care if I just take 15 more minutes...." was never quite 15 more, you know?).

Still, this clampdown has made me realize two things:
1. The workday really flies when you're busy, and I am!
2. The signal-to-noise ratio on Google Reader and LJ is really impressive. I can usually catch up on the events of the day in about an hour or less. Google reader is an amazing device, especially when you have it set for just headlines.

And, if that wasn't fun enough, I had my first test that I don't think I did so well on. Almost all of our tests so far have been multiple choice. And the one that wasn't? We were allowed to bring in a "cheat sheet" of crib notes to remember specific details. Not for this one. No, my SEC professor seemed taken aback by the stream of vitriol my class launched at him about the 30-question short-answer exam that was not multiple choice, nor was it open-book. "I swear to you people, it's an easy exam! It is! Hardly anyone ever fails! It's not complicated!!" And, when I grilled him, in class, about how much memorization would be required, he demurred, saying that as long as I read my notes and understood the classwork (which he said I did), I would be "fine."

See, the reason I grilled him is that I memorize about as well as the fish in my icon. I am TERRIBLE at memorizing things. It takes me a really long time. I don't remember the number of our landline. I have trouble with names, addresses (just ask blergeatkitty how many times I've had to call from her street to ask which building/apartment it is again. Once, I even got the block wrong. And that was after I'd been there before. I also can never remember teany's apartment number, either.) If I KNOW that I have to memorize lots of facts, I have to drive myself to the point of near-breakdown to cram some of them into my head. I had to do this last semester with a couple of classes that made it clear that we would need to memorize things. It was frustrating and exhausting, but I got through. But, this guy said I wouldn't have to memorize. So I studied like he told me to study, and guess what?

I definitely needed to memorize, not just study. And that made me really angry. And upset. I think I did okay, despite this (I don't know how he grades, and I did well on the homework and in-class stuff), but don't tell me that something is "easy" and that I just need to "understand" when the key word here is "memorize."

And don't even get me started about how when you work in a law office, you're not supposed to rely on memory EVER. You're supposed to look things up. Why? Because the law is about being specific.

People are telling me that I probably did better than I thought I did, but I'm still really, really annoyed and worried about this test. *sigh*

And on top of everything, my stomach has been such a mess this past week and change that I've barely been able to eat anything. It's getting better (Subway is my friend), but I'm still not there yet.

And speaking of there, I have to get ready for work.