Say NO to the Dress.

Okay, I realize that not every bride sees things in the exact same way. And I also know that every bride does not have the same budget.

However: if you're paying as much as a car for a few yards of fabric that you're only going to wear once, I think you need your head examined.

If you're only wearing that excruciatingly expensive dress for the ceremony, and then changing into another expensive dress for the reception? You should be placed on an involuntary psychiatric hold.

I know that I'm only planning to get married once. I know that I want to have a special dress to wear. I know that I want to look beautiful.

But for flamingo's sake, I can't understand paying $15,000 (or more!!) for a dress. A.dress. That will be worn ONCE.

See, I'm a big believer of a cost-per-wear factor. And a wedding dress does not have one. You wear it once.

I don't want to be a big poofy princess who can't use the bathroom without help (that's empowering) and a chapel train I'll be tripping over all night. More than that, I don't want to be one of those airheads on those "ZOMG DRESS" shows (like I may or may not have watched a small marathon of yesterday...shush) that try to rationalize spending all that money on an outfit.
I just don't even know.

I mean, I know that it said in teh media and on teh intertubes that weddings were getting overly extravagant. But I never really grokked quite how extravagant they were getting until I started trying to plan one. A photographer told me that her packages started at $5,000. STARTED. But I can't blame a contractor for charging what some nut is willing to pay (I feel the same way about professional sports.) It's the rationalizations that kill me. Especially the wedding-related ones.

"I mean, I know it's a lot...but I just fell in looooooove with it!!"
(it's mommy/daddy buy meeee thaaaaat all grown up. Or, mostly grown up. I usually refer to the women on these shows as Veruca.).

And this is speaking as someone who was obsessed with weddings growing up. I had dozens of Barbie wedding dresses. I had Bride paper dolls, craft sets, dress-up sets. If anyone on tv was getting married, the outside world ground to a halt. I still have a terrible, horribly guilty love of terrible wedding programming on certain cable channels that shall remain nameless. But when it comes down to my own wedding? DO NOT WANT. I like to think that playing with all this stuff as a wee girl helped me grind it out of my system. That, and the huge letdown that was prom. It was SO built up in everything that surrounded high school, but in the end, it was not as advertised. You get all dressed up, you ride in a limo, everyone you care about screams at each other, you eat terrible food and listen to bad music, someone gets drunk and turns into a douche, someone gets drunk and barfs, and then you go home. My mom said that my prom reminded her of two of the wedding parties she'd been part of, and that definitely planted some kind of seed.

Some of the saner wedding blogs I read talk about the One Perfect Day syndrome, which I totally see all the time. That everything has to be perfect, be a "fairy tale" OR THE ENTIRE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS RUINED. RUINED, I'M TELLING YOU!! If you don't get that $6,000 cake and $20,000 dress and the even more expensive caterer who made cupcakes in the shape of Tiffany Boxes, it's ALL OVER. Who cares about your kids going to college? IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR DAY.

Meanwhile, I feel like the kid who stands up and points out that the emperor isn't wearing a thing. Because at the beginning and end of the day, it's a fucking party. That's all. A. Party. And I've been throwing myself parties for years. And will continue to do so after I am legally wed. Parties of varying degrees of fanciness and import, because I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow that throwing yourself a party is necessary. Birthdays are to be celebrated, damn it, as are national holidays you love, AND special life events (like gradumacation, which I'll be having a shindig to celebrate over the summer, I think). I don't get why the one day has to be the be all and end all. My parents' wedding had good parts (they got married! yay!) and some crappy parts (family drama), but in the end, they got married and stayed that way. Plus, my mom always loves to talk about the one cousin who had a HUGE wedding at 18...and was divorced not too long after. She always told me that it wasn't about the outfit or the cake or any of the trappings - it was about the dude standing up next to you.

SO, let's say I have this graduation party. What the hell, I earned it. If I told you all that I decided that I absolutely, positively HAD to have a $10,000 designer outfit to wear to this party, because it was my ONE SPECIAL DAY and it made me feel like a GRADUATE when I looked in the mirror (and I even teared up in the store when I saw myself in it) you'd think I'd taken complete leave of my senses. Frankly, so would I. Because it's just a party. One day out of many days, and not some kind of harbinger for the rest of your life.

Say NO to the Dress.

Okay, I realize that not every bride sees things in the exact same way. And I also know that every bride does not have the same budget.

However: if you're paying as much as a car for a few yards of fabric that you're only going to wear once, I think you need your head examined.

If you're only wearing that excruciatingly expensive dress for the ceremony, and then changing into another expensive dress for the reception? You should be placed on an involuntary psychiatric hold.

I know that I'm only planning to get married once. I know that I want to have a special dress to wear. I know that I want to look beautiful.

But for flamingo's sake, I can't understand paying $15,000 (or more!!) for a dress. A.dress. That will be worn ONCE.

See, I'm a big believer of a cost-per-wear factor. And a wedding dress does not have one. You wear it once.

I don't want to be a big poofy princess who can't use the bathroom without help (that's empowering) and a chapel train I'll be tripping over all night. More than that, I don't want to be one of those airheads on those "ZOMG DRESS" shows (like I may or may not have watched a small marathon of yesterday...shush) that try to rationalize spending all that money on an outfit.
I just don't even know.

I mean, I know that it said in teh media and on teh intertubes that weddings were getting overly extravagant. But I never really grokked quite how extravagant they were getting until I started trying to plan one. A photographer told me that her packages started at $5,000. STARTED. But I can't blame a contractor for charging what some nut is willing to pay (I feel the same way about professional sports.) It's the rationalizations that kill me. Especially the wedding-related ones.

"I mean, I know it's a lot...but I just fell in looooooove with it!!"
(it's mommy/daddy buy meeee thaaaaat all grown up. Or, mostly grown up. I usually refer to the women on these shows as Veruca.).

And this is speaking as someone who was obsessed with weddings growing up. I had dozens of Barbie wedding dresses. I had Bride paper dolls, craft sets, dress-up sets. If anyone on tv was getting married, the outside world ground to a halt. I still have a terrible, horribly guilty love of terrible wedding programming on certain cable channels that shall remain nameless. But when it comes down to my own wedding? DO NOT WANT. I like to think that playing with all this stuff as a wee girl helped me grind it out of my system. That, and the huge letdown that was prom. It was SO built up in everything that surrounded high school, but in the end, it was not as advertised. You get all dressed up, you ride in a limo, everyone you care about screams at each other, you eat terrible food and listen to bad music, someone gets drunk and turns into a douche, someone gets drunk and barfs, and then you go home. My mom said that my prom reminded her of two of the wedding parties she'd been part of, and that definitely planted some kind of seed.

Some of the saner wedding blogs I read talk about the One Perfect Day syndrome, which I totally see all the time. That everything has to be perfect, be a "fairy tale" OR THE ENTIRE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS RUINED. RUINED, I'M TELLING YOU!! If you don't get that $6,000 cake and $20,000 dress and the even more expensive caterer who made cupcakes in the shape of Tiffany Boxes, it's ALL OVER. Who cares about your kids going to college? IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR DAY.

Meanwhile, I feel like the kid who stands up and points out that the emperor isn't wearing a thing. Because at the beginning and end of the day, it's a fucking party. That's all. A. Party. And I've been throwing myself parties for years. And will continue to do so after I am legally wed. Parties of varying degrees of fanciness and import, because I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow that throwing yourself a party is necessary. Birthdays are to be celebrated, damn it, as are national holidays you love, AND special life events (like gradumacation, which I'll be having a shindig to celebrate over the summer, I think). I don't get why the one day has to be the be all and end all. My parents' wedding had good parts (they got married! yay!) and some crappy parts (family drama), but in the end, they got married and stayed that way. Plus, my mom always loves to talk about the one cousin who had a HUGE wedding at 18...and was divorced not too long after. She always told me that it wasn't about the outfit or the cake or any of the trappings - it was about the dude standing up next to you.

SO, let's say I have this graduation party. What the hell, I earned it. If I told you all that I decided that I absolutely, positively HAD to have a $10,000 designer outfit to wear to this party, because it was my ONE SPECIAL DAY and it made me feel like a GRADUATE when I looked in the mirror (and I even teared up in the store when I saw myself in it) you'd think I'd taken complete leave of my senses. Frankly, so would I. Because it's just a party. One day out of many days, and not some kind of harbinger for the rest of your life.

Today in brief

( Random Thoughts of the Day )

Today in brief

( Random Thoughts of the Day )