Happy New Year
Jan. 22nd, 2004 11:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
offbalanceA very happy New Year to all of those who are celebrating!! (I was going to be all slick and put the date in, but I can't find it anywhere. Oh well.)
Anyway, all this talk of New Year and new beginnings has got me thinking. The past several months I've been noticing behaviors of mine that I don't like. Particularly ones that don't even feel like I'm the one performing the action - that it's someone else - and someone I don't particularly like much. No matter how well-meaning some of the instincts have been, the execution has been shoddy, and I feel badly about the possibility that things may have been misinterpreted (especially my predilection for screaming "JERK!" (or worse) at those members of the opposite sex that are potentially hurting friends of mine when I don't really know the whole story). I have to remember that righteous indignation doesn't always translate well.
Mostly I'm hoping to start making a conscious effort to calm down more, in many ways, not worry about 'agendas' per se and just take things as they come. Try to relax more and not second guess everything (especially when someone is just trying to be friendly. Shit. I'm really bad at that for some reason. If I was really bad about it at you - and I can think of one person on here in particular who I may or may not private post to - I'm sorry.)
This is going to be very hard. Then again, my new 'think before speak' initiative may work as well as when I started watching my portions at meals. The latter has sent me from a size 14/16 to a size 12, so I'm hoping that the former will be similarly successful in other venues. Hoping. I'm just starting my 'speaking diet' today, so I'm not sure how it's going to go - I just hope that it works.
No one said it would be easy - no one said it would be this hard....I'm going back to the start - Coldplay.
Anyway, all this talk of New Year and new beginnings has got me thinking. The past several months I've been noticing behaviors of mine that I don't like. Particularly ones that don't even feel like I'm the one performing the action - that it's someone else - and someone I don't particularly like much. No matter how well-meaning some of the instincts have been, the execution has been shoddy, and I feel badly about the possibility that things may have been misinterpreted (especially my predilection for screaming "JERK!" (or worse) at those members of the opposite sex that are potentially hurting friends of mine when I don't really know the whole story). I have to remember that righteous indignation doesn't always translate well.
Mostly I'm hoping to start making a conscious effort to calm down more, in many ways, not worry about 'agendas' per se and just take things as they come. Try to relax more and not second guess everything (especially when someone is just trying to be friendly. Shit. I'm really bad at that for some reason. If I was really bad about it at you - and I can think of one person on here in particular who I may or may not private post to - I'm sorry.)
This is going to be very hard. Then again, my new 'think before speak' initiative may work as well as when I started watching my portions at meals. The latter has sent me from a size 14/16 to a size 12, so I'm hoping that the former will be similarly successful in other venues. Hoping. I'm just starting my 'speaking diet' today, so I'm not sure how it's going to go - I just hope that it works.
No one said it would be easy - no one said it would be this hard....I'm going back to the start - Coldplay.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-01-22 08:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-22 09:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-22 10:13 am (UTC)I think you are great as you are, but only you can really intimately know your flaws. You have always been a sweet and good friend to me, so I got no complaints. =)
no subject
Date: 2004-01-22 10:15 am (UTC)Thank you! That means so much to me - you don't even know.
:)
p.s. I MISS YOU!