Helicopter crash.

[offbalance]

Thanks to fragbert for linking to this article in Psychology Today, about the long-term, negative effects of helicopter parenting. I was trying to find a quote to pull out, but there were too many to choose from. My own parents will probably enjoy it, as it pretty much agrees with everything they said while I was growing up: "Absolutely be there for your kids - help them and teach them and be there for them if your kids need you to be. But you absolutely must let them fall down, skin their knees and screw up, or else they're never going to be able to become independent adults."

I do remember people starting to try to use that "learning disability" bullshit to get extra time on tests when I was in high school. Some people I know had legitimate disabilities, but a lot of them just wanted extra time on the SATs. I have a vague memory of one mother of one of my friends telling my mom about how to go about this, my mom response was terse and almost angry. "My daughter is smart. She doesn't need any kind of bullshit advantage. She can handle it. Even if it gives her an edge on the SATs, what happens after the SATs are over? What is this kind of thing going to teach her about life?" This woman had no reply, but she probably thought my mom was nuts. She also called my mom to try to get her to make me "patch things up" with her daughter when we eventually fell out, something my mom refused to do, seeing as how I was EIGHTEEN at the time. (But then again, my parents wouldn't make me be friends with whomever I didn't want to be friends with when I was eight, let alone when I was old enough to vote and drive a car.) To this day, this woman's daughter was probably one of the most maladjusted, socially inept, borderline insane (no, really. And not in a good way) people I've ever known. If you knew me in high school, you know who I'm talking about. Girl was Just Not Right. Anyway, to make my point - the kids I knew who had parents that knew when to back off generally were better off.

Further, the reason I sometimes call my parents several times a day is the same reason I call anyone in a non-work capacity several times a day: I like talking to them!!! They give good advice. They're funny. And they listen to my bitching sympathetically. (To a point, anyway. Every so often, they both [rightly] tell me to stop whining and get over it.) You know what else? Anyone I know who had so-called "helicopter parents" don't talk to their parents often, and when they do? It's a chore. Something to think about, anyway. ::the more you know::

Anyway, rah rah unplanned Friday. I have a grad party later this evening, and lunch with lwoodbloo, but otherwise? Free agency. I think I'm going to go hunting for a new summer bag, at either the place leopard_lady recommended or down in Chinatown. We'll see.

Comments

[angelicillusion.livejournal.com]

Are we talking about who I think we're talking about????

[feminist-poet.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD, I AM SO PRINTING THIS OUT and leaving it in the mailbox of stepford principal. I cannot even TELL you how many kids there are like this in school - no one can handle ANYTHING and the parents are WORSE.

[alexandriabrown.livejournal.com]

Amen to all of that. Dude, my parents worked at the college I went to my first two years (hi, free tuition they did not raise a moron) and they had to forcibly tell all the professors that they did not want to know how I was doing. Their position? I would tell them when I wanted to and they didn't want to be treated like any other parent. My parents rule.