Ok, first of all, Sharon, get out of my brain. Hahahahahaha! No, but seriously, just interject tall, smart, and chubby in there and that is pretty much my story. To this DAY, I think of myself as this wacko freak who is way too tall and weird for anyone to ever like me. It takes me a lot to like what I see in the mirror. I was never ever attractive to guys in junior high/high school because I was way taller than they were!!! This was also compounded by the fact that the one tall guy only liked tiny little girls who put out. I did NOT have sex in junior high and high school. I am SO glad I didn't, too. But at the time, I was just devestated, as much as I never wanted to admit it. I wanted nothing more than to be small and cute and pretty.
When I discovered punk, I was thrilled, because I was like, what, I am not a freak?!?!?! WHOO-HOOO!! I also went through this pahse of, "you wanna see ugly? You think I am ugly? I'll show you ugly." It was kind of liberating, to say the least. Shaving one's head teaches you a lot about how the world perceives women and concepts of beauty.
How do I talk myself up? Sharon, like you told me (and you still have no idea how much this meant to me), we are WARRIORS. When I look in that mirror in the morning, I think, THIS IS ME AND THIS IS WHAT THE WORLD IS GONNA GET. That sounds so ridiculous but I cannot tell you how much it helps me every day. Snarky, tall, smart, opinionated, beautiful ME. And the world needs snarky, not as tall as me, smart, opinionated YOU. Because dammit, if we were all Angelina Jolie, this world would be damn boring.
I love you to pieces, but you knew that. :) If you ever want to talk more about this, I AM HERE FOR YOU!
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Date: 2008-02-01 01:04 pm (UTC)Ok, first of all, Sharon, get out of my brain. Hahahahahaha! No, but seriously, just interject tall, smart, and chubby in there and that is pretty much my story. To this DAY, I think of myself as this wacko freak who is way too tall and weird for anyone to ever like me. It takes me a lot to like what I see in the mirror. I was never ever attractive to guys in junior high/high school because I was way taller than they were!!! This was also compounded by the fact that the one tall guy only liked tiny little girls who put out. I did NOT have sex in junior high and high school. I am SO glad I didn't, too. But at the time, I was just devestated, as much as I never wanted to admit it. I wanted nothing more than to be small and cute and pretty.
When I discovered punk, I was thrilled, because I was like, what, I am not a freak?!?!?! WHOO-HOOO!! I also went through this pahse of, "you wanna see ugly? You think I am ugly? I'll show you ugly." It was kind of liberating, to say the least. Shaving one's head teaches you a lot about how the world perceives women and concepts of beauty.
How do I talk myself up? Sharon, like you told me (and you still have no idea how much this meant to me), we are WARRIORS. When I look in that mirror in the morning, I think, THIS IS ME AND THIS IS WHAT THE WORLD IS GONNA GET. That sounds so ridiculous but I cannot tell you how much it helps me every day. Snarky, tall, smart, opinionated, beautiful ME. And the world needs snarky, not as tall as me, smart, opinionated YOU. Because dammit, if we were all Angelina Jolie, this world would be damn boring.
I love you to pieces, but you knew that. :) If you ever want to talk more about this, I AM HERE FOR YOU!