Slayer strength not required.

[offbalance]

I don't know why people are so amazed when I can change the big bottle in the water cooler at work. Really, guys. I know I'm 5'4, but I'm of good, hearty peasant stock. My Maternal Grandmother and Paternal Great-Grandmother could totally kick your ass*. Maternal Grandmother carried huge metal bins of coal ash up from her basement to be disposed of several times a week. She was barely 5 feet, but all of my Uncle's friends (who were 6 feet tall or taller) were all scared of her bad side. (And from what I've heard, with good reason. She was a lovely, sweet woman, but you did not cross her.)

My Paternal Great-Grandmother was what you might call a problem-solver. A famous-in-the-family story that best illustrates it is one of my favorites. She was tired of her landlord jerking her around about replacing the cast-iron coal stove in their apartment, and finally got completely fed up. She yanked the stove out of the wall, carried it down several flights of stairs, kicked the landlord's door open, threw the stove at him, then PUNCHED HIM. And you know what she got in return, kids?

A new stove.

You do not fuck with us.

I think I can handle a few gallons of Poland Spring. I promise.


*My paternal grandma could whip the shit out of you verbally, so don't think for a second that she'd be easy to tangle with. The snark is genetic, and goes back generations.

Comments

Oh Yeah

[(Anonymous)]

I guess I should be saying something very snarky or at lease bend a metal bar with my teeth but I just wanted to acknowledge that you actually did listen to some of those old stories. And for the record(not that it matters) the coal stove was free standing and cast iron, God knbows what it weighed and she slipped her key ring over her fingers before she decked the asshole. Jeez I feel like its my duty to go out and pummel someone, any suggestions..................... I guess there is somethuing to this DNA stuff Signed by you know who

Re: Oh Yeah

[offbalance.livejournal.com]

Well, that's a great story! How could I not remember it? I didn't know the part about the key ring, though -that makes it even better.

And I'll just repeat what you've always told me - you don't have to look for someone to pummel, just be patient and they'll find you.