I Just Don't Understand.

[offbalance]

After I read the news about Dr. George Tiller yesterday, I was angry, then as I read more about the events and started to read the reactions, that anger became rage and deepened into absolute fury. I wish I could make intelligent, coherent statements about these events, but I can't. I'm so angry, I'm shaking.

I don't understand why it to some people that the idea that a woman can choose when and how she becomes a mother is so horrifying. I don't understand why people that help women who have made really difficult choices are considered to be bad people. And I'm really lost on how this is all supposed to be tied to a person/being who was supposed to be forgiving, understanding and helpful to all.

I don't understand who gave these people the power to make choices for others. I don't understand why someone else's life is their business. I don't understand why they can't exist unless everyone believes what they believe, and why they can't simply live their own lives and believe their beliefs and not bother anyone. I don't understand why others living their lives differently are such a terrible, pronounced threat.

I don't understand why it's wrong to learn, to reason, to read more than one book. I don't understand why someone can't read and learn many things and still be able to believe in different things as well. I don't understand why knowledge is considered to be a threat to faith by some. I don't understand why their faith is so shallow, so fragile, that conflicting knowledge is dangerous.

I don't understand why some man had to stand screaming at people to BELIEVE BELIEVE BELIEVE for half of my subway commute today, why he was so adamant that we come around to his beliefs OR ELSE. I don't understand why it's so important to them that we validate what the believe, if their beliefs are so strong. I don't understand why they are considered the true believers, when those I know who really believe never once made me feel like less of a person for thinking or believing differently than they did. I don't understand why more people can't simply practice instead of constantly preaching.

And I don't understand how killing a person is okay if you disagree with what he believes. I've never understood that. I may not follow any religion, but I'm pretty clear on the big rules, and unless I don't understand, there's no loophole around that one, and I don't understand why some people believe that there is. I thought that one was pretty clear cut. But then, I guess I just don't understand. Does anyone?

Comments

[bronxelf-ag001.livejournal.com]

I don't understand why some man had to stand screaming at people to BELIEVE BELIEVE BELIEVE for half of my subway commute today, why he was so adamant that we come around to his beliefs OR ELSE.

Because no one wanted to be the one to tell him otherwise. Because proselytizers rely on social pressure- they rely on the pressure to be polite, to not cause a scene, and above all, the cultural expectation to "respect religion", in order to keep their tirades going unchecked.

Sadly for them, I don't give a nickel plated fuck about any of these things, particularly the latter.


I hit the moment you're having on September 13, 2001. And I lost my FUCKING MIND at one of these proselytizing pieces of shit on a downtown 4 train, while he ranted on about 9/11 and how "we deserved this" and about all the sinners who "caused" it. I told him we were about to see whether Jesus would actually perform a miracle and make him fly cause I was going to throw him through the fucking window of an elevated downtown 4, and you can bet when I said it, I meant it.

When I read about Dr. Tiller yesterday, I was saddened for the loss to the world, to his community and to his family. But I am not any more angry than I was. I passed the point of white hot hatred for these people years ago. I have no more "up" to go.

[offbalance.livejournal.com]

I screamed at him to shut up and get lost, but maybe you're right, maybe I need to start taking a harder line. Ironically, my reticence has nothing to do with religious respect. Ironically enough, it's my fear that these people are legitmately crazy, and that one of them is going to get violent if I stand up to him/her. (9 times out of 10, it's a him.)

I know you well enough to know that you meant it. Maybe I should have gotten in this guy's face, too. Did the crazy you stood up to sit down and shut up? Did he just get off at the next stop? Or did he get in your face?

[bronxelf-ag001.livejournal.com]

He started to try and use his preacher voice to argue back but it became pretty clear very quickly that the whole damned train car wanted him to shut the fuck up. I was just the person who said it. Remember the date and location. People were already in enough shock and pain, and they were very, very jumpy.

You ARE right- many of them are not all that balanced, emotionally. If they were, they wouldn't *be there in the first place*. It's a legitimate fear. I just give less of a damn about my own life than most people do about theirs, to be honest. I wouldn't blame anyone for not wanting to say something for that reason. The only other person I know who ever really lost their marbles at one of these nuts is delacabezas and he's a *big* guy. I'm always guaranteed to be smaller than the other person, so I'm used to it.


Oh in the end he moved to the next car. I figured at that point he became someone else's problem.

[offbalance.livejournal.com]

It's true, on all counts. You never know what they're going to pull - and the preacher was a fairly big guy. And all mouthing off would accomplish would be him in MY face for the whole time.

I kept thinking about the story where someone battled them by dancing and singing showtunes. I thought about doing the same, but I couldn't remember enough that early.

[dotfic.livejournal.com]

Yes, this. (That's about all I've got on this issue, my flist has been really eloquent and I'm--almost numb on it, so frustrated that this could happen).

[offbalance.livejournal.com]

Exactly. And then to have some crazy bastard proselytizer on the train this morning ranting on and on about how we didn't need "choice" because the only "choice" was Jesus? I nearly lost it and got into his face. Maybe I should have, instead of turning up my ipod.

[firynze.livejournal.com]

I don't understand why their faith is so shallow, so fragile, that conflicting knowledge is dangerous.

That's the key to this whole thing. Their faith is so fragile that they must shout to the heavens proclamations of how strong it is, and never for an instant allow themselves to think that there might be another way, or everything will shatter forever.

It makes me sad for them, really.

[offbalance.livejournal.com]

Me too. But part of me also wishes for the shattering, so that maybe they will finally STFU.

[feminist-poet.livejournal.com]

I know I will never understand any of it. I know exactly how you feel!!!

[offbalance.livejournal.com]

It's just so frustrating.

[angelicillusion.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately people like that (see above) are crazy to some extent. They've taken what religious beliefs that they were taught and twisted it in such a way that ... I don't know everyone else has to think the same way OR ELSE. I remember my 2nd year and I had metaphysics and we were discussing religion. My professor at the time was explaining the difference between faith and blind faith and I honestly couldn't tell the difference in between - where as now I can. Faith is believing in something or whatever while at the same time questioning and understanding what's going on around you. Blind faith on the other hand gets you crazy man on the train and other such individuals. Blind faith is simply ... putting your hands in whoever's hands and trusting that person will lead you the right way no matter what - you have no power in that outcome. & when blind faith is challenged it's like a person is coming with a sledge hammer and trying to destroy your house. In this particular analogy though for those types of people whoever is challenging them is destroying their entire belief system and life. Which again brings back the point that these people are either very ignorant OR crazy. There is no rationale for crazy people. & crazy, unfortunately, have their own set of rules - right, wrong or indifferent doesn't play any part into it.