The Misadventures of a Native New Yorker

You are in a sushi restaurant. The menu features a maki that they refer to as a "Rick Roll."

What is on this roll?

blergeatkitty and I have come to the consensus that it should be whitefish (natch), tuna, and cucumber on the inside, with orange (shad?) roe and crunchies on top. However, I'd like to open this up to the rest of the class as well.

What's on your Rick Roll?

My mother always told me to be careful what I wished for. So, yesterday was an example of a careful wish. I don't like inviting trouble on April Fool's day, but that was an idea for a prank that was too good to pass up. If it somehow came to pass that Phil "Franchise" Hughes invited me out for a date? OMG YES PLZ. Alas, it is not so.

I am incredibly, extremely flattered that so many of you actually believed that I have what it takes to attract a starting-rotation Yankee (and a 21-year-old one at that). I am, truly. I didn't want to do an April fool's prank that was mean-spirited or nasty, just something silly that I hope we could all get a good laugh out of. Those of you who caught on, well, thank you for playing along. Those of you who were tricked, well...time to get me back next year!

In other (real) news, happy happy birthday to whtegrlwthehair!!

Today's the rescheduled opening day for the Yankees, hopefully there won't be another rainout.

While waiting out the rain delay yesterday, Yes Network had a little special about my beloved boys in the bullpen - the three amigos - Chamberlain, Kennedy, and Hughes. Apparently Phil Hughes has a blog! Since I was snuggled into bed with my laptop anyway, I fired off an email to the account listed on the page, wishing him luck and such. I also said that I'd be happy to buy him a drink after his first win, linking him to my facebook page. I didn't expect anything of it, as he probably gets tons of these a day.

And then, this morning, I open my gmail:

Hey Sharon:
I really don't know if I can accept a drink from a total stranger. Wanna get together this weekend so we're not strangers anymore? hahaha.
Call me. [number redacted]

Phil
P.s.: Nice pics on facebook. The rock sign is my favorite. METAL!!!

Oh, my giddy aunt.

So, naturally I'm going to call him. But do I do it before the game, or after? Do I call during and leave him a voicemail? I don't want to distract him, but this needs to happen. I wonder where he's going to want to go. At least there's a day game on Saturday, so he'll probably want to get together early so he can be rested for Sunday's game (which I'm going to - maybe I'll get to see him pitch!).

I have been laughing uncontrollably at this since I saw it:



I think that's a good indication of my mood so far.

I had dinner with the folks last night, which was nice. It'd been awhile since I saw them without having some holiday or other occasion going on at the same time, so it was nice to hang out with them and chill a bit. We watched a special about the pioneers of late night talk shows that was pretty interesting - especially for a tv/media history buff like me. Fun fact: 90% of Letterman's shtick is ripped off from Steve Allen. Trufax!

Speaking of history, the wonder that social networking has once again worked in my favor! I was able to get back in touch with one of my favorite people from high school, someone I sadly lost touch with not long after graduation. But we've been messaging and are in the process of making plans to hang out! I'm so excited. (hey, physedluver! It's Bernice, if you remember her...)

Tonight holds many things to be excited about. First and foremost is the fact that I'm having dinner with alcestis. While that is going on, my dvr will be stockpiling lots of lovely new TV for me to enjoy. It's also Thursday, which is a happy thought only because that makes tomorrow Friday. I can't decide if I should stay home or go out, and after the week I've had, staying home with a nice dinner and my dvr is kicking going out somewhere square in the you-know-where. I have a good meal idea, wine in the fridge, a stockpile of shows on the dvr, and probably am in need of a quiet-ish night.

Or at least I've overheard it. (I'm especially reminded of antheia and ginpalace for some reason.)

Last night, at karaoke, I had the pleasure of meeting the Crown Prince of the Douchebags. No, really. All other douches should bow down before this one.

It wasn't any one specific thing that won him this auspicious honor; it was a combination of factors. It wasn't just that he sang several Prince songs (he also did Neil Diamond's "Crackling Rose," which I happen to really like). It wasn't just that he told me that he was at Karaoke on a regular basis because he worked next door. It wasn't that he was flirting with anything that had a cooter in the most obvious way, including a trainwreck of a girl celebrating her birthday at the bar, and was an entire bedding department to the wind. (He sang an irony-free duet of "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" with her early in the evening.) It wasn't even him showing off his "Hay I took swing dancing lessons to impress the femalz, dig my sweet stepz!" moves in the most obvious fashion. With any girl he could grab that was willing (but not me). I managed to avoid his attempts at being a latter-day Johnny Castle, thankfully.

It was all of these factors, and the fact that he thought it made him THE COOLEST GUY IN THE WORLD. Really. He thought he was sex on legs. And while he wasn't hideous looking (he was actually sort of on the cute side). He was so obvious, and yet so clueless at the same time. It was fabulously entertaining. While I may not always be happy being single, at least I am not that guy. Or even worse, dating that guy.

(He would probably own this cologne, if they made it for real. He kind of looks at the guy at the end, the one who says: "Do you know who I am? Do you know who my father is?" )

And now to work. But that was something that needed to be shared, and preserved for posterity. And perpetual amusement.

Giant-sized thanks to leopard_lady for the best frigging laugh I've had in a week or more

Via Best Week Ever, I give you Douche.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is why I did not date in high school, and found the pool rather shallow in college as well.

Boss T is home with a stomach virus. ::sprays self with lysol:: I will not be getting sick.

I love Overheard New York, mostly for its snappy titles that introduce rather funny slices of New York life. However, today reminded me of something that happened to me once that tickled me so very much I feel compared to share:

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/001830.html

Chick: Do you want this seat?
Old man: I may be 100 years old, but I'm only going one stop!

--6 train

A few years back, when I was trying to get a temp gig, actually, I was on the train heading back from an interview when an older, nattily dressed gentleman got on. It's rare that I'd see someone in a hat, suit, and impeccably pressed trenchcoat, but it seemed like he'd been dressing that way for longer than I'd been a passing thought in my mom's head. He was carrying a cane, so I offered him my seat. He smiled, took off his fedora wiht the same grace as Fred Astaire, and said, "I'm not that old yet - and in my day, we always gave our seats to pretty girls. But thank you!" It was so sweet (and anything but lecherous) that this 20-second encounter made my entire week.

Argh, it's late. I gotta go. Next week is my Friday off with time for me to sleep. Next week, precious, next week.

As blergeatkitty mentioned recently, everyone has one thing that never fails to crack them up, no matter how many times it is viewed.

For some, it's a ceramic sombrero that plays the Mexican Hat dance when a button is pushed to access the dip center. For others, it's a mechanical Tigger making sweet sweet love to Tickle-me-Elmo.

For me? It's this:



(it's funnier if you've seen Donnie Darko.)

Yeah.

Am still trying to spend less time on LJ at work. Since it's a shitty day I hope to post at lunchtime, but no promises. Tonight is sushi, so I'm looking forward to that. However, if I get an opportunity, I might be able to drop a comment here or there. Wish me luck, this is harder to quit than biting my nails or caffiene ever was.