A Brooklyn Girl Talks Back

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j_bkl (and some commenters in his journal) have sounded off on last night's HIMYM, calling them out for their handling of the New York vs. New Jersey. Now, I don't really have too much against the Garden State. They've given us a lot. Fine malls, stadiums, a nice airport, Kevin Smith, no sales tax, and um, I'm sure many other things I can't think of before my second cup of tea. I've had great times in Hoboken and two of my best friends live in a really lovely part of Jersey City, full of great restaurants, cool shops, and lots of art festivals. It's a seriously cool place, and it takes less time to get between there and the city than some parts of Queens. Which is amazing to me.

I didn't see last night's episode as an indictment against New Jersey. It wasn't truly about New York vs. New Jersey to me, but rather, the City vs. the Suburbs. New Jersey was chosen because it unfortunately has nationwide rep that isn't exactly positive. But the side of Jersey that we saw was indecipherable from Westchester, Long Island, or even Connecticut - it was simply standing in for A Suburb.

Though the part of Brooklyn I grew up in was kind of suburban (lawns, trees, close to a mall, lack of 24-hour bodegas and a long shlep to the train), it still touched by the city (semi-reliable public transportation, foot traffic, varied restaurant choices). The city was there, and I ran away from my old neighborhood as much as I could. If anything, Marine Park was sort of a Chinese Restaurant menu of city and suburb - there were plenty of things from column A and column B.

I've been to the suburbs many times. I spent four years in a suburb of Albany attending University. I have relatives in Long Island, and have visited friends in Connecticut, Jersey, and Westchester. The houses are charming, the streets are clean, everything is quiet and green, and there's room for multiple-car garages in addition to a sprawling lawn. Actually, sprawl is a good word for a suburb. It sort of stretches out over all available land area, whereas in the Brooklyn where I grew up, things were a bit more space-conscious. It's even tighter in the part of Brooklyn I live in now, and definitely tighter in Manhattan. I definitely agreed with Marshall's rant at the end of the episode - you have tons of room to stretch out in the burbs. Big houses, big cars, big stores. Everything out there is big.

While I sympathize with Marshall's plight (as much as one can sympathize with a fictional character), I have the opposite problem - the wide open spaces and deserted nature of the suburbs most commonly found in New Jersey (for this argument's sake) give me the twitches. Jersey City and Hoboken are one thing entirely, but going far out, where NO ONE is outside, no one is walking, and seemingly no one interacts ever gives me the creeps. I find the insular nature of the area, its dependence on cars and its removal from crowds and civilization to be entirely depressing. Everyone is shut up in their homes. No one seems to go out the way that they do in the city - perhaps they don't feel the same need to, what with their big, sprawling dwellings, they find no reason to go outside. They go to the mall, or to Costco, or to Ikea, or they watch tv (or maybe there's yardwork, too. Never was sure about that). They drive everywhere. Not that I'm defending Ted (seriously, dude, you're from Cleveland. STFU.), but if he grew up in the stale, staid, cold, distant world that is the suburbs, I can totally understand why he'd want to never go back after living somewhere as exciting and crowded and alive as a city like New York. I'm guessing Stella never ventured far from home, but if she loves it there so much, I wonder why she has a practice on the UWS if she lives in Jersey. Wouldn't it make more sense, especially since she has a daughter, to keep her practice closer to home? They do have doctors in Jersey - even good ones - from what I hear. I could sort of see her reasons for wanting to stay (the I Own An Entire House argument especially), but I almost wish Ted had asked her about that little point during her This Place Is Way Better speech. Personally, I don't see how an area so deserted is "safer," in any way, but that's my inner city girl coming to surface. As for schools? You're looking at a product of the New York City Public School System - kindergarten through 12th grade. The schools are a bit crowded by some standards (always were - 30-35 to a class was normal for me), but if you can keep the kid focused, they'll do just fine. Kids play in a playground or the street instead of a yard. I did. It was fun, actually. Driveway baseball takes a lot more skill that one realizes when the driveway is barely big enough for a Sable Sedan to pass through. I really don't see the argument how the burbs are a better place to grow a kid, and I find the conceit that this is common knowledge to be vaguely insulting. Lots of well-educated, well-loved, well-cared for kids sprout from urban centers - and not just from prep or private schools, either. How is it better to be so removed from your other playmates (as my young cousin is) that every playdate has to be scheduled weeks in advance, just so they can plan to make the drive between houses?

I guess it just boils down to what you're used to, and I rarely have seen a suburb that I'd be happy living in full time. Maybe I just haven't seen one yet. To me, the city is Patsy's and Lombardi's, the suburbs are Dominoes and Pizza Hut. The city is Les Halles and Becco, the suburbs are Applebee's and Olive Garden. There's something specific, something special, that's just lacking out there. While I'm sure there are benefits, I don't see them being as great as the benefits you get by living in the city all day, every day. Especially this city.