offbalance | Today in brief

22:37 @Jeffrey_Donovan ask yourself what Michael Westen would do to stop a social network impostor! #
10:16 politely requests her Monday be slightly less batshit. She knows it won't happen, but she'd still like to make the request. #
10:20 @CafeMetro 4 days for me. And apparently, I have to pay for having Friday off. Eesh. #
10:49 @CafeMetro there will be tourists aplenty I'm sure. Thanks for the link! That was fun. #
11:46 @Ozzdo more likely untreated internal injuries. But yours works too. #
11:49 RT @sailorboyj Pot Calling Kettle Black Award: NY Post calling people who cash in on Jackson's death ghouls (funny b/c it's true) #
12:18 @sailorboyj ::gets popcorn:: I'm ready. This should be hilarious. #
12:56 RT @BreakingNews Firefighters say the 4th floor of a parking garage has collapsed into basement in Atlanta, no injuries yet reported (D:) #
13:40 @antheia I'm crying for you on the INSIDE, I swear. #
14:59 RT @blergh DISCOVERY: if you ever feel sad, do a google image search for "sleepy kittens." omfg. (good advice) #
15:41 @antheia brb, loling forever. #
15:45 @antheia oh? How so? #
15:49 @antheia ....that's so perfect it's almost worrying. #
16:09 is reconsidering an earlier decision to not have wine with dinner. After today, it might be a welcome relaxant. #
16:43 @kevinan why would you do that to yourself? I heard it makes watching Eyes Wide Shut almost pleasureable. #
16:50 @kevinan Neither do I. At least the Rock was fun. #
16:53 @biggayicecream maybe try to puree the bacon, to get the 'essence,' or mix in very tiny pieces? #
16:53 @damiella 23rd is better than 58th in my experience, but ymmv. #
17:01 @biggayicecream another good idea! What about calling it a Piguin? (as in Pig + Penguin) #
17:01 @damiella if for some reason you strike out, Bed Bath is across the street and may also have good options. #
17:22 @sailorboyj it's actually Father's Day (Observed). You can get away with all kinds of crap when you use (Observed)! #