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offbalance*BOUNCE*
Laura's on her way home, I just spoke to her! Once we've been reunited, look out New York! mwhahahaha!!!
aaaand my order from the HC warehouse came today, so I now have a copy of Neverwhere of my very own. *hugs book* I also got a copy of American Gods as well, so that should prove to be some fun reading. Gaiman almost always = time well spent. (oh, and Catherine, your stuff is here too, I don't know if you got my email.)
My christmas wrapping is done. I just wasn't able to do any Christmas cards this year. *hangs head* I hope no one hates me for it! Although, I'm contemplating doing e-cards instead.
yeah. have to spend the afternoon attached to the copier of doom *shakes fist at permissions department*. I swear, I think they think I'm their personal bitch sometimes. Every other damn day there's another email request for ANOTHER agreement they can't find. Why they can't walk their ass up here is beyond me. >_<
That's the glamourous world of publishing, kids.
and here are a few jokes!
Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency.
"Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried.
"My people's favorite form of birth control-- This is a true disaster!"
"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.
"I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it," said Bush.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin.
> "Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin.
"No problem," replied the President.
Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything.
George Bush hung up and called the CEO of a condom company.
"I need a favor. Can you send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia."
"Consider it done," replied the CEO of the condom company.
"Good! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE SMALL' on each one.
****************
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion.
Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered
how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"
Laura's on her way home, I just spoke to her! Once we've been reunited, look out New York! mwhahahaha!!!
aaaand my order from the HC warehouse came today, so I now have a copy of Neverwhere of my very own. *hugs book* I also got a copy of American Gods as well, so that should prove to be some fun reading. Gaiman almost always = time well spent. (oh, and Catherine, your stuff is here too, I don't know if you got my email.)
My christmas wrapping is done. I just wasn't able to do any Christmas cards this year. *hangs head* I hope no one hates me for it! Although, I'm contemplating doing e-cards instead.
yeah. have to spend the afternoon attached to the copier of doom *shakes fist at permissions department*. I swear, I think they think I'm their personal bitch sometimes. Every other damn day there's another email request for ANOTHER agreement they can't find. Why they can't walk their ass up here is beyond me. >_<
That's the glamourous world of publishing, kids.
and here are a few jokes!
Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency.
"Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried.
"My people's favorite form of birth control-- This is a true disaster!"
"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.
"I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it," said Bush.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin.
> "Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin.
"No problem," replied the President.
Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything.
George Bush hung up and called the CEO of a condom company.
"I need a favor. Can you send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia."
"Consider it done," replied the CEO of the condom company.
"Good! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE SMALL' on each one.
****************
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion.
Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered
how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"
