Slayer strength not required.

[offbalance]

I don't know why people are so amazed when I can change the big bottle in the water cooler at work. Really, guys. I know I'm 5'4, but I'm of good, hearty peasant stock. My Maternal Grandmother and Paternal Great-Grandmother could totally kick your ass*. Maternal Grandmother carried huge metal bins of coal ash up from her basement to be disposed of several times a week. She was barely 5 feet, but all of my Uncle's friends (who were 6 feet tall or taller) were all scared of her bad side. (And from what I've heard, with good reason. She was a lovely, sweet woman, but you did not cross her.)

My Paternal Great-Grandmother was what you might call a problem-solver. A famous-in-the-family story that best illustrates it is one of my favorites. She was tired of her landlord jerking her around about replacing the cast-iron coal stove in their apartment, and finally got completely fed up. She yanked the stove out of the wall, carried it down several flights of stairs, kicked the landlord's door open, threw the stove at him, then PUNCHED HIM. And you know what she got in return, kids?

A new stove.

You do not fuck with us.

I think I can handle a few gallons of Poland Spring. I promise.


*My paternal grandma could whip the shit out of you verbally, so don't think for a second that she'd be easy to tangle with. The snark is genetic, and goes back generations.

Comments

[firynze.livejournal.com]

I think our ancestors would've gotten along smashingly. Or else had a truly SPECTACULAR row. Whichever.

(I'm beefier now, but when I was really skinny, people were BOGGLED by how strong I am. Uh, it's just a water bottle/30lb sack of apples/couple gallons of milk. Whatever!)

[offbalance.livejournal.com]

Either way, it would be fun to watch!

(The bottle of water weighs as much as a toddler. Those are harder to pick up, because they squirm.)

[firynze.livejournal.com]

Exactly! Water bottles, for the most part, just sit there and let you pick them up. There's no kicking.

[offbalance.livejournal.com]

Exactly. There's also no whining, screaming, or snot.

[firynze.livejournal.com]

And thank god for that.