The Misadventures of a Native New Yorker

The #1 side effect of a crap movie that features really horrible renditions of ABBA songs is a strong desire to re-acquaint oneself with the actual ABBA songs (you know, the ones that don't suck).

[KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU, AH-HAAAA]

Hopefully, my coworkers won't band together and kill me.

[THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO, KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU, AH-HAAAA]

Until they do, I'll just be over here, dancing at my desk.

[WE JUST HAVE TO FACE IT THIS TIME, WE'RE THROUUUUUUUGH (this time we're through do you really...)]

Today I have a restaurant week lunch at Park Avenue Summer that I'm very excited about, and then some pre-trip shopping.

[BREAKING UP IS NEEEEEEEVVAAAAAAAAAAR EAAAAAAAAAAAASY I KNOW BUT I HAAAAAAAAAAVE TOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOO]

Hopefully also, a short catchup with J, but we'll see how that all works out. Mostly, I'm looking forward to this weekend, even though I'm not really looking forward to all that I have to do during it. *le sigh* At least next week, redesigner and I are going to VEGAS!!!!

[KNOWING MEEEEEEEE KNOWING YOUUUU IT'S THE BEST I CAN DOOOOOOOO]

Who in hell told Pierce Brosnan he could sing? Because they were wrong. So, so, so VERY wrong.

I just got back from seeing the unholy, flaming train wreck known as Mamma Mia. I just. WHY? WHY? Why was this made? I have to believe that the stage show is better, because that was just...good Lord.

I agree with blergeatkitty's assessment that Meryl Streep was probably drunk the entire time. And Amanda Seyfreid was okay, but I've seen her do better. A LOT better. But I don't know - maybe bouncing around like an idiot and shrieking a lot constitutes a good performance these days. Colin Firth hit his marks and collected his paychecks, and I think Stellan Saarsgaard wandered onto the set not knowing exactly what was going on.

And oh, it gets worse. So much worse. The choreography! (I've seen better shit in high school, and that's after Christine Viola started doing the musicals). I mean, they jumped around and flailed aimlessly vaguely to the music. It was sort of terrifying to watch. And do not even get me started on the low-brow slapstick, usually at the expense of the female characters. Even worse was the main thrust of the plot, the idea that no woman could have a truly happy and fulfilling life without a man in it. Perhaps that's not what they were going for, but the insipid dialogue really didn't help. The theater was laughing AT the movie, not with it.

There is really no way to fully encapsulate the pure suck that was this movie. No, really. More suck than a black hole in a vortex. It was worse than Across the Universe, and I didn't even think that was possible.

I'm just glad that alcestis, blergeatkitty and I decided to do this on El Cheapo Night at Cobble Hill. Because damn. It wasn't Xanadu (the movie) bad, but it was damn close.

The weather made today Not a Beach Day. So J and I finished watching Season 1 of Veronica Mars, had some brunch, then headed off our separate ways - he had some stuff to do, and so did I.

Things I did:
Bought groceries
Tidied kitchen
Installed new versions of virus protection software and Itunes
Caught up on this week's Project Runway

Things I wanted to do but did NOT do:
Scrub the kitchen floor
Catch up on this week's Swingtown
Write.

*sigh*

Last night was dinner with J, blergeatkitty & kip3f and then The Dark Knight. I will basically join in the ZOMG Chorus on this one - that was some fine cinema right there. And, J and I got to see the trailer for The Watchmen and just about lost our minds over that one. It looks awesome, and I'm pleased it was done by someone who, you know, read the comic and everything. I guess I'll post more about Dark Knight after I've had more time to process it, there was a whole lot of movie there. Suffice it to say, the following people seriously rocked my socks (listed in alphabetical order):

Bale, Christian
Eckhart, Aaron
Oldman, Gary.

I don't know - maybe it was all the hype, but I didn't get what all the big was about Heath Ledger. Mind you, he was good, but not so amazing that I was totally blown away. *shrug* He played a convincing crazy-ass psycho. Well done, please to send your royalties to Malcolm McDowell when you get a moment, thx.

Anyway, tonight is the Mad Men premiere (SQUEE) and more time with J (double squee!)

I am thisclose to giving up on seeing all of the movies that are out right now in the theater. There is NO WAY I will be able to get to them all in time. ::waves flag:: This summer has had a glut of amazing films - it's almost impossible to keep up with them all.

Life Lesson #204:

Never do a concert and an outdoor movie event on back-to-back nights.

I figured that since the Feist show in Prospect Park was pretty much across from my house, it would be an easy trip home, and I'd be able to get plenty of sleep before Stand By Me in Brooklyn Bridge Park. Oh, what a silly rabbit am I.

The Feist show was amazing. It paired awesome music (she was in fine voice and did an energetic, eclectic set) with shadow puppetry and a really cool combination of visual displays that were created live in time with the songs. I'd read an interview with Ms. Feist some time ago where she indicated how she prefers to do shows that are entertaining in every possible way, and I always admire that kind of commitment in a performer. Were it not for the rain, it would have been a lovely evening. New Orleans Girl and I had a ball mocking the hipster fashions.

Also, mega-points to Puck for figuring out how to dry my sopping-wet blanket in just 5 short hours, using a drying rack and a high-powered fan. I was worried I was going to have to hit the laundromat when it opened at 6am, but I awoke to find a perfectly dry, fluffy picnic blanket. I just had to wipe some mud off the nylon back, and we were good to go.

I love movies in Brooklyn Bridge Park, but thanks to their mega publicity push, I think 3/4 of the entire fucking city showed up. I still managed to find a decent patch of grass. But it's hard to complain when you're watching the sunset between two bridges on an absolutely breathtaking piece of waterfront. I'm really hoping it doesn't get too built up - it's one of my favorite places in the city just the way it is.

One of my all-time favorite picnics involved Popeye's. So I'd had the brilliant idea to stop off and grab some for the group to enjoy. Little did I know that apparently those deemed too slow-moving and slow-witted to work at McDonald's often man the counter at Popeye's. I had to repeat my order THREE TIMES, before the girl working the counter was replaced with another girl, one I could tell was smart and capable and I'm guessing was on break from high school, trying to earn money at a summer job. Still, it didn't help with the slow-moving kitchen (you're a restaurant known for your biscuits. HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE THAT YOU ARE RUNNING OUT?!)

There was also the issue of the sides. I've had Popeye's sides, and while okay, they're not great. I was going to skip them, but the coupon I had included them. Other people had passed on sides with no problem, but Slow Girl couldn't seem to vault this hurdle.
"It comes with sides."
"That's okay, I just want the chicken and biscuits."
"But it comes with two sides."
"I dont' want the sides."
"But they come with sides!"

I finally acquiesced and ordered some macaroni and cheese (decent) and some rice (blech). Had I known, I would have just asked for extra biscuits in place of the sides. I didn't know you could do that. You live, you learn, you grow.

Anyway, I have to force myself to be alert through a few more hours, then I'm busting out of here to meet up with blergeatkitty for some Thai food and a trip to Target. Then, provided the Thai iced tea does it's magic, I'm hopefully going to the FREE ($3 suggested donation) Brazilian Girls show in Prospect Park tonight (holla at me if you want to come to the show, too!).

While watching yesterday's Yankee game, my dad got so pissed off at the announcers on Fox that he muted it. I can more than understand the impulse, as the announcers on Fox are biased asshats who Yankee bash whenever they get an opportunity (fair and balanced my ass). He was happier with this, but since my mom was crocheting, she said to him that she'd miss out on the game without any kind of announcing. So she told my dad to do it. She said he was great at it, and it made the game much more enjoyable.

Lucky for me, he's agreed to do the same tonight. The game is on ESPN, and since the announcers on there are enough to drive a saint to murder, I'm thrilled and relieved to be listening to this very special secondary audio presentation.

Apparently in times gone by, announcers really didn't spend inning after inning talking out of their ass about nonsense that makes no sense. Usually? They'd just tell you what was going on with the game, and the occasional fact, like the guy at home plate has had a 4-game hitting streak or that it's the third baseman's birthday. They understood that the less said, the better. That's the school my dad's sort of operating from, except that he's not limited by the FCC or broadcast regulations. Which makes his color commentary all the more...colorful. I only wish I had a recording of this.

In other Ain't-My-Parents-Cool-News, today, when we left the beach early due to a combination of bad weather and a bad band on the patio, we decided to watch a movie. I'd told my dad about Boondock Saints (my latest Netflix selection), and since we had some extra time, he said sure, let's watch it. Both he and my mom enjoyed the hell out of it. And frankly, so did I. Thanks to all who clutched their chest and fainted when I said I hadn't seen it, it made me get around to it all the faster.

Let me once again expound on my love of the internets. Really and truly.

All week long, wendywoowho has been talking up her love of 1776, which I'd seen once in the 7th grade and remembered enjoying, but really hadn't seen since. I knew how awesome it was (I mean, if you involve William Daniels in anything, the awesome is sure to follow), but I didn't own a copy, and I didn't have time to change my netflix choice. I was extremely in the mood to see it again, especially after reading this all week. But I was thwarted. Video store was closed, and Turner Classic Movies isn't showing it until ELEVEN O'CLOCK tonight. What?

Previously, I had been unable to get the "watch instantly" feature on Netflix.com to work, but that's different now. Now? It WORKS. I finally got the damn thing to work!! And I'm watching, via the internet, 1776, which I'd been dying to see. It also means that I'm going to easily be able to catch up with Season 1 of Doctor Who. Hopefully some nice person will be willing to let me borrow 2 and 3 after that, especially if I wind up liking season 1.

Anyway, before I get back to the movie, I just wanted to wish all of my fellow Americans a very happy Independence Day. May you celebrate it with roast beast and explosives.

I'm 20 minutes into this AFI 10 Top 10 special (10 genres, 10 movies each), and I've already called shenanigans.

HOW. HOW. HOW can you have a list of the greatest animated films of ALL TIME and NOT include Sleeping Beauty??!?!?! Come ON.

I was okay with some of the others, but I would have swapped out Pinocchio for Sleeping Beauty - pound for pound, it's just a better story, with far better animation. I mean, really.

And, as much as I'm not sure that Field of Dreams belongs in the "Fantasy" category (um, hi. Sports movie. Duh.) , I'll be damned if the last moment where Kevin Costner asks his dad if he wants to have a catch doesn't make me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME. *sniff*

So far, though, the sci-fi list is right-on. KLAATU. BARRATA. NIKTO.

One of the greatest things about New York City in the summertime are the free events. Many of them are outside, fun, and did I mention free?

My personal favorite of these are the free movies. Everyone knows Bryant Park, of course. The biggest pro is that it's one of the easiest to get to after work, but the problem is that this pro is also a con. It's usually crowded and crazy as all hell. And honestly? This year's lineup doesn't really excite me much:

Much more exciting is the lineup promised by Hudson Riverflicks this year. Almost Famous ? The Blues Brothers? Purple Rain? DREAMGIRLS?! Hell to the yes.

Sadly, Brooklyn Bridge Park (one of my favorites, honestly - it's much more relaxed and fun than Bryant) has not listed their lineup yet. But stay tuned.

Today, Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn announced that Park Slope's JJ Byrne Park will also have its very own al fresco film series, starting in July. I'm excited, but as JJ Byrne park contains mostly concrete, I'm somewhat unsure about how this will go. Still, it will probably be a fun night. And hey, free. Don't forget that part!

Speaking of movies in New York, I saw that movie over the weekend. I definitely enjoyed it, and will post a longer review later with a few quibbles and thoughts that I had about it.

A few week's back, quasisonic, Puck, and I celebrated mother's day with my parents at a delicious brunch cooked by my dad. Now, my dad makes better breakfast food than almost anyone I know, and that day he made his famous matzoh brei, which I swear would be a HUGE brunch food staple if only adopted by the right collection of restaurants, but I digress. Anyway, while we were over enjoying the food and the company, we were also enjoying TBS's Indiana Jones marathon. We got there in time for the first Indy movie I ever remember seeing: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Now, I know it doesn't even come close to Raiders of the Lost Ark, but I've always had a fond place for Last Crusade in my heart. I hadn't seen Temple of Doom in ages, but I just remembered not liking it all that much.

When Temple of Doom came on, we decided to watch it just to see it was as bad as we remembered. And to be honest, most of the party found it to be far worse than we all thought. Between Kate Capshaw's shrieking, the bugs, and Indy acting nothing like the guy we'd come to know and love (and dialog that made Lucas's work in the Star Wars Prequels look Pulitzer-worthy). While I was enduring this monstrosity, I texted my boyfriend (yes. I have one now. We've been together about a month, he's awesome, fun, and most importantly, as geeky as I am) that I'd forgotten how much Temple of Doom straight up sucked.

He emphatically disagreed. He did concede the point of Willie Stark being annoying, but according to him, all the other elements of the movie (including that AWFUL scene with the bugs) more than made up for it, and, that it was way better than Last Crusade! We argued about this for at least half an hour via text message and for another half an hour when I saw him again later on, but we could only agree to disagree. He refused to see that Last Crusade was a spectacular return to form for the franchise, with its multi-continent quest to find this great relic, the inclusion of all the characters we'd come to love (Marcus! Sallah!) as well as the introduction of Indiana's father. (Sean Connery trumps all. Thank you.) Not to mention a female character that wasn't completely annoying. Granted, she was no Marion Ravenwood (who could be?), but she wasn't bad, either. The action sequences were plausible, the quest comprehensible, and the dialog quotable. It was good-hearted, adventured-filled, action-packed fun. All things that Temple just weren't.

I jokingly suggested that I should put it to a vote in my blog, and he loved the idea. So, ladies and gentlemen of the livejournal jury, I put it to you. All will agree that Raiders of the Lost Ark is the masterpiece of the three we've seen so far, but which is the second best?

[Poll #1191479]

There is no I can't decide option. You must choose. And if you want to debate, please feel free to do so in the comments. Let the battle royale begin!

Last night I was able (thanks to certain connections) to be part of a special advance screening of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian last night.

In terms of effects, design, cinematography, costumes, and makeup, the film was outstanding. Visually, it was really gorgeous.

Otherwise? Wardrobe was better.

( I don't know wtf counts as a spoiler anymore. I don't think these are spoilers, but you may disagree. )

After the movie, I came home, watched a pretty lame episode of How I Met Your Mother and an awesome episode of Gossip Girl

( Spoiler thoughts )

And now there's today. I'm trying to figure out how I can get grocery shopping done AND meet up with blergeatkitty. A time turner would be extremely useful right now, I'm just saying. Groceries may get shifted to tomorrow out of sheer necessity. But we shall see. As it stands, I'm going to have to do it shifts anyway. This week is nuts. Tomorrow is my allergy shot. Thursday is redesigner's recognition ceremony, and Friday I'm seeing The Mountain Goats with whtegrlwthehair. (redstapler? Tickets are NOT sold out. Repeat: Tickets are STILL available on ticketweb.)

And now, back to this monstrous pile of payments I have to do!